Icons of our time
NAME: Mr Rattitude.
OR: The common (and ubiquitous) Hong Kong rat.
NATIONALITY: Hong Kong.
AGE: Old enough to get caught rummaging around your apartment, young enough to look you in the eye and say: 'So, what are you going to do about it?' MONEY: Mmm, tasty. Especially when drenched in fried beancurd fat.
BRIEF HISTORY: Mr Rattitude quite rightly feels hard done by in a historical sense. He will tell you that he was actually scuttling around in the Garden of Eden nibbling apple cores, but no one saw fit to mention it. He was here when cannibals most definitely didn't live on Lamma. He was here when the first vegetarian rave promoter set up shop on Lamma. And he will be here long after the last has been sent packing by the PLA. Simply put, Mr Rattitude is the archetypal Hong Konger: lean, mean and always ready to sniff out an opportunity. He doesn't really care what he eats or where he lives and simply hates being held accountable on matters of operating procedure or taste. Let's face it, we're all part of the rat race, aren't we? NATURAL HABITAT: Well, where do you live? BUT SERIOUSLY: Pick an alley, any alley, especially in Central; bars off Lan Kwai Fong where you sit outside; wet markets; guest houses; restaurants (sadly Thai restaurants seem to offend most) where they scurry around in the air-conditioning ducts spluttering on lemon grass; the MTR; old apartments.
STRENGTHS: Phlegmatic, pragmatic, keeps personal expenses (food and board) down to a minimum.
WEAKNESSES: Yet to win public acceptance (perhaps a good PR firm or an O.J. Simpson lawyer might help).
NO MR RATTITUDE IS COMPLETE WITHOUT: Factory outlet scabs, a scuffed tail, a rind hanging out his mouth and a mobile phone.
ISN'T IT FUNNY HOW: They appear to have mastered the knack of becoming invisible. One of the little cuties strolls past you in a restaurant, pausing to sneer at your choice of footwear, yet you seem to be the only person who notices him. The waiters and management look at you as if you're mad, and blind.
FRIENDS: Dai pai dong operators with a flexible approach to waste disposal.
ENEMIES: The Pied Piper, who these days operates in a van with 'Rat Kill Asia' on the side.
CULTURAL LEGACY: Unfinished bowls of noodles at dai pai dong stalls.
POLITICAL BELIEFS: Never leave a sinking Southeast Asian economic flagship. Stick around and wait for it to be mired in corruption.
CLOSELY RELATED TO: The residential roach; the rat in that classic Fawlty Towers episode.
NOT TO BE CONFUSED WITH: The genteel star of The Wind In The Willows.
ICONOGRAPHER