It's a jungle out there
'Oooh my God! That thing is huge! Don't move, let it crawl off your head. Mavis ... come and look at this! It's huge!' Mavis trots over excitedly, joined by an equally eager group of jungle trekkers, each trying to peek at the multi-legged, multi-coloured monster arachnid perched elegantly on the rim of my fake Gucci sunglasses.
If you are going to step out into the wilds, especially into something as intense and magnificent as Malaysia's Taman Negara, one of the world's oldest tropical rainforests, it's as certain as death and taxes you'll be bitten, stung, scratched, bruised and possibly mauled by a wild creature. But being in a place so peaceful and relatively untouched by 'progress' makes it worth the discomfort.
Trekking, rafting and animal spotting are all part of the fun of a three-day exploration. Numerous reliable tour operators can introduce you to the wilderness of Malaysia's largest national park; I chose NKS Travel, based in Kuala Lumpur, which made the convoluted journey from the capital to Taman Negara - by plane or train, several buses and a raft - as smooth as possible.
The rainforest, about 130 million years old, spans the states of Kelantan, Terengganu and Pahang in peninsular Malaysia. It was declared a conservation area in 1938 and covers 4,343 square kilometres of primary virgin forest. Naturally, it is a haven for thousands of species of mammal, bird, plant ... and bug. Which brings us back to the tense situation developing around a burned-out log in an Orang Asli tribal settlement in the heart of the jungle.
The Orang Asli, who generously allow tourists to visit them and, surprisingly, don't ask for money, are the original nomadic inhabitants of Taman Negara. They happily allow visitors to try their poison blowpipes and demonstrate how to start a fire without matches.
It is during a fire-making demonstration that Mavis, a school teacher from Canada, and her friends inspect the enormous spider that is trying to make friends. I am about to have a panic attack when our guide, Sharif, comes to the rescue. Striding over, he grabs the sunglasses and tosses them into the undergrowth.
Taman Negara conservationists are proud of their bug collection and visitors to the park are treated to regular night treks focusing on bug watching. Crawling creatures include fat, fierce red ants, which march determinedly along the forest floor, occasionally climbing tourists' legs to take small, vicious bites from their inner thighs, and leeches, which furtively suck blood from trekkers' ankles.
Higher up, in the treetops, visitors can tackle the canopy walk, one of the anchor activities on a short stay.
A trek through the forest to the top of a hill called Bukit Teresek reveals the canopy walkway, the world's longest. Views from the walkway reveal the forest produce of untold millennia.
Rapid running is another favoured activity; floating upstream for 10km from Kuala Tahan means negotiating seven sets of swirling rapids in 45 minutes.
A visit to bat cave Gua Telinga takes about three hours and involves a raft ride, an easy forest walk and some energetic cave clambering. To attempt it, you should be reasonably fit and not too overweight: some of the subterranean passages are narrow, but guides are happy to help with a well-placed shove. By day, the cave roof is covered with thousands of resting bats; it is an amazing sight, although the smell is unpleasant. The cave was carved through a limestone outcrop by a stream, but ancient wall drawings tell of a more mysterious past.
After clambering, hiking and rafting, it's good to return to base at Kuala Tahan. At the rustic resort of Ekoton the staff are helpful and friendly - although there are limits. 'I suppose retrieving my sunglasses is out of the question?' I asked Sharif later from the safety of the floating restaurant. I don't think he heard me.
Getting there: Malaysia Airlines (www.malaysia arlines.com) flies daily from Hong Kong to Kuala Lumpur. Trains run from Kuala Lumpur and Singapore to Jerantut, from where Kuala Tahan is accessible by raft. The journey from Kuala Lumpur to Kuala Tahan can also be made, less interestingly, by bus. See www.taman-negara.com for more information.