Pyongyang

1 Easy street

Imagine an Asian city with no air pollution. Imagine an Asian city with no traffic lights. Imagine an Asian city with no traffic jams. Such a place exists - and it's called Pyongyang. Yes, this is the one place east of Suez where driving is a pleasure. The wide streets are so sparsely populated by motor vehicles that in five days I don't recall our tour bus having to stop once. However - owing, presumably, to the populace's lack of traffic awareness - drivers make liberal use of their horns to warn carefree pedestrians.

2 Square scene

Yes, this is the Kim Il-sung square you've seen on CNN. It's the one in which those tens of thousands of soldiers goose step in displays of synchronicity that would put the Waffen SS to shame, while the reclusive 'Dear Leader', Kim Jong-il, airs his bouffant hairdo as he takes the salute of his legions and acknowledges the praise of his people. The levelling of the ground for the square began the day after Korean war hostilities ended, in 1953, and the work was completed within 10 days. The 75,000-square metre plaza is surrounded by grandiose buildings, most notably the neo-traditional Grand People's Study House, with its curved, blue-tiled roof. The Pyongyang Number 1 Department Store just off the square and the Underground Store give you an indication of Pyongyang shopping trends (if your minders let you in, that is).

3 Public monuments

Pyongyang is as much a city of monuments as ancient Rome, and the Kim Il-sung Monument, on Mansu Hill, is built on an epic scale. A giant bronze statue of Kim Il-sung, one arm outstretched, stands in front of the Korean Revolution Museum, flanked by two lines of charging bronze revolutionaries gazing over the city to the river. You'll probably see locals - from senior military officers to extended families - dressed in their Sunday best coming here to leave flowers and pay their respects to the 'Great Leader'. Kim, who died in 1994, remains North Korea's eternal president and has been elevated to the status of a virtual deity. Whatever your feelings about Kim - a guerilla leader who joined the Soviet army and was installed as leader of North Korea - and the personality cult surrounding him, the obvious (or ostensible) reverence locals demonstrate should be respected.

4 Tug of war

The 80 halls of the Victorious Fatherland Liberation War Museum - that's the 1950-53 Korean war to you - showcase a strongly slanted perspective on this grim cold war struggle, the first war the US could not win. Certain exhibits - such as those alleging biological warfare by UN forces (allegations largely disproved in the west after academic investigations in the 1960s and 70s) - should be taken with a pinch of salt. In addition, what a painting of a US missionary torturing a young boy with acid has to do with the Korean war is unclear. However, the fearful suffering of the North Korean people during the war - when all of Pyongyang, and every other significant urban centre in the country was flattened by aerial bombing, against which the North Koreans had little defence - is well portrayed, and should impart some understanding of why this country still exhibits such virulent hostility towards Washington.

5 Spy ship

It may well be the most incongruous sight in North Korea: a commissioned US warship moored on the Taedong River. But there she is: the USS Pueblo, an American spy ship captured off North Korea's east coast in 1968. A video aboard tells the story of the ship and its capture - from the North Korean perspective, naturally, so prepare for a propaganda avalanche. Visitors are escorted by a charming female guide from the War Museum - or, if they are even luckier, by one of the North Korean war veterans who are part of this floating propaganda monument's staff. The ship is well maintained - with the exception of battle damage, which is outlined in red ink.

6 Nightlife

Once you've had enough of Asia's last, continuing, cold war, you'll be ready for some recreation. Unlike Asia's other 'shop 'til you drop, dance 'til dawn' capitals, Pyongyang isn't known for its fleshpots, but there is some nightlife. The city's 'strip' is on Changgwang Street outside the landmark Koryo Hotel. This is a 100-metre section of road lined with restaurants and a couple of karaoke bars - there's even a bit of neon. The Yaksan restaurant serves tasty grilled goat, which compares favourably with any meat dish you'll get in Seoul's barbecue eateries. Pyongyang Soju is the top firewater, while Taedong beer is very drinkable.

7 The minder

Normally, a tour guide would not be one of a trip's top attractions, but in Pyongyang your 'minder' is likely to be a pretty formidable figure. Our guide, Choe Jong-hun, of the quasi-diplomatic Council for Cultural Relations with Foreign Countries, proved splendid. On our first night at the bar, with a beer in front of him, he ripped off his shirt, thumped himself on his (vest-covered) chest and roared: 'All right! Ask me anything!' A true stalwart, Choe proved unable to address any politically related questions without much finger wagging as he thundered out the party line. But he also had a softer side: at a karaoke session he displayed a theatrical bent, crooning melancholy folk tunes accompanied by the appropriate moves. Not the kind of tour guide you are likely to forget in a hurry.

8 Day-tripper

A good day trip is to the city of Kaesong and the nearby DMZ - both about a two-hour drive south of the capital. Kaesong was in South Korean hands during most of the Korean war, so was spared the bombardments that levelled the rest of the nation's population centres. After driving down a boulevard between high-rise apartments, at the end of which stands, inevitably, a statue of Kim Il-sung, you come to a neighbourhood of traditional Korean housing: the largest collection of such architecture left in the world. Clustered around a brook, this is a fairy-tale scene.

9 The DMZ

Close to Kaesong is the demilitarised zone (possibly the most heavily militarised district on the planet), a 4km strip of land separating the two Koreas. Inside the zone is the truce village of Panmunjom, through which runs the 38th parallel, the military demarcation line that partitions the two Koreas. Visitors to the North may be surprised by the leisurely nature of their Korean People's Army hosts and the apparent lack of military hardware. (Intelligence analysts believe most of it is in underground emplacements.) This is in stark contrast to the southern side of the DMZ, where even the most myopic tourist cannot fail to notice tank traps, bunkers and artillery emplacements. Pose for the South Korean military police on the other side of the border, who will be furiously photographing you.

10 Women in uniform

True, the chances of any visiting male making any form of amorous contact with local members of the opposite sex in Pyongyang is a big, fat zero. But for voyeurs of women in uniform, welcome to paradise. The city is a showcase, and rumour has it that only the prettiest women are chosen to don uniforms. On your arrival at the airport your passport is inspected by a beautiful immigration officer. Stunning female soldiers in Soviet-style uniforms are common at museums and monuments. And on public intersections, beautiful traffic wardens pirouette and twirl batons as they direct (largely non-existent) traffic. Many South Koreans - at least, South Korean males - say North Korean women are more pure looking and beautiful than their South Korean sisters. Only after you have visited both will you be able to judge.