Big day need not break bank

You found the man of your dreams and now you want the wedding to match - a sophisticated celebration in a hotel ballroom which your friends will remember and someone else will be happy to pay for.

Unfortunately, the ornate luxury of a hotel wedding banquet is expensive and remains a pipe dream for many brides.

The average cost at the InterContinental Hong Kong is HK$180,000, plus service, for a harbour view function room, but HK$550,000, plus service, for its InterContinental ballroom, according to events manager Winnie Kwok.

Tiffanie Leung, assistant director of events at the Grand Hyatt, says the hotel offers packages at its Pool House and salons for between HK$100,000 to HK$160,000, based on a banquet of eight to 10 tables.

If this is slightly out of your budget, read on - we have some tips to help you economise.

Lesson 1: Do not offend your parents

Be prepared to compromise. Although some couples fund the party themselves, overwhelmingly it is still the groom's parents who pay.

Catering managers regularly encounter modern couples who do not want shark's fin soup, but their traditional parents insist on serving. Normally, they will group friends who do not want shark's fin soup at the same table, and a different soup is quietly served to them.

Lesson 2: Do not offend your guests

Your guests' enjoyment is your priority.

'Friends will talk first about the food and then about the hotel,' says Langham Place Hotel catering manager Kitty Tang, who has worked in the sector for 25 years.

She recounts the story of newlyweds who served pricey star grouper to just five tables at their huge banquet. The problem is that star grouper turns red when cooked, unlike the less expensive green grouper served to the other 15 tables.

It was an obvious affront and one the hotel staff tried to dissuade the couple from committing. They insisted, however, saying that those tables were for business partners and they needed to ensure their strong relationship.

The decision saved the couple HK$12,000, but perhaps lost them some friendships.

Lesson 3: Prioritise and pare down

Food: Order the menu you can afford to serve all your guests. If your event is large enough, check if corkage can be waived.

Entertainment: Live bands add an air of sophistication but cost about HK$20,000. Play CDs or have a disc jockey. Ask a friend to act as master of ceremonies. Don't expect the hotel to give you 350 pens or tissue boxes for a game without a charge. Reasonable requests can generally be fulfilled.

Creating inexpensive memories requires imagination. Ask the chef to incorporate a meaningful motif into the wedding cake design, or to create a special-theme cocktail.

Why not plan a surprise for the bride that all the guests can enjoy? One groom arranged a special menu course for his dog-loving bride. The chef hid dog toys on plates for the VIP table. Then staff paraded the covered plates into the room, and everyone laughed when the 'food' was revealed.

Flowers and decorations: Flowers from the mainland or Holland? There will be a massive price difference. Backdrops and special lighting are inexpensive ways to fill a room and, wedding planners say, are all you really need.

Gowns: Tang has seen a bride change eight times. 'You can't imagine how much it costs to rent those dresses,' she says. 'If you want the premium abalone, cut out one of the dresses.'

Lesson 4: Ask questions. Be prepared.

What is included in the wedding package? What is the charge if guests order something extra? Is the service charge included? Is it customary to tip HK$100 per table to the captain? What are the hidden costs? If guests damage the venue by leaving cigarette burns on the carpet or writing on the tablecloths, you are responsible for repairs.

How many guests will the venue seat? Many couples book venues a year in advance, then invite more guests than planned. When they confirm their booking, they are disappointed to discover that the venue will not fit more people. Catering managers try to accommodate them, but the banquet may have to be split between rooms or some guests may have to be uninvited.

Lesson 5: Special days cost more

Auspicious days are almost always fully booked, so there is not much room for negotiation. In fact, some hotels apply a HK$10,000 surcharge.