Source:
https://scmp.com/lifestyle/health-wellness/article/3004676/change-your-life-smile-dr-happys-positive-psychology-and
Lifestyle/ Health & Wellness

Change your life: smile with Dr Happy’s positive psychology and lift your well-being

  • Dr Timothy Sharp left clinical psychology to promote happiness and well-being
  • Now Chief Happiness Officer at the Happiness Institute, he helps people overcome their fears and champions mental health charity Batyr

When Dr Timothy Sharp was a boy, he had no idea what he wanted to be when he grew up. He loved sports and was curious about what made people tick, so when he got to university, he decided to study psychology to become a sports psychologist.

Fast-forward a few decades and Dr Happy, as he is now known, runs The Happiness Institute, which he set up in 2001 in Sydney, Australia.

“In the first half of my career, I was a clinical and academic psychologist and ran a successful practice,” he says. “My job was very fulfilling, but then I came across the early beginnings of the positive psychology movement and knew that it would change my life and work.

“I entered psychology wanting to help people live better lives, but as a clinical psychologist, what I’d really been doing for many years was helping people live ‘less bad’ lives. The focus was very much on reducing distress and dysfunction rather than promoting happiness and well-being. Now, the two aren’t mutually exclusive and the former is still very important, but I knew I wanted to focus more on helping people thrive and flourish.”

Sharp enjoys quality time with his wife Marnie, daughter Tali and son Coby. Photo: courtesy of Dr Timothy Sharp
Sharp enjoys quality time with his wife Marnie, daughter Tali and son Coby. Photo: courtesy of Dr Timothy Sharp

That’s also how he got his nickname. When he switched from clinical to positive psychology, his friend and colleague called him Dr Happy as a joke.

At first Sharp was reluctant to adopt it because he didn’t think people would take him seriously, but in no time at all the name was getting him attention so he decided to build a brand around it.

As Dr Happy – and the Chief Happiness Officer at The Happiness Institute – Sharp currently keeps busy with speaking engagements; consulting work; writing; and helping brands that want to build positivity into their strategy. On the side, he also commits much of his time to Batyr (batyr.com.au), a youth mental health charity that focuses on smashing the stigma associated with mental ill health.

Sharp has contributed to his field over the years. He’s written for some of Australia’s most widely read newspapers, published several academic articles, worked with high-profile individuals and organisations, and published eight self-help books, including the bestselling Transformation: Turning Tragedy into Triumph and The Happiness Handbook: Strategies for a Happy Life.

While he has received many awards in recognition of his work, Sharp’s most fulfilling job to date is the one he does for Batyr. “It’s only a small role, but it’s given me more satisfaction than almost anything else I’ve ever done,” he shares. “Knowing that I’m helping these young people understand that it’s OK to not be OK, and that it’s fine to reach out and ask for support is tremendously rewarding.”

As a clinical psychologist, one of his first clients was a woman with social anxiety and a fear of public speaking, limiting her ability to socialise and make friends, and slowing her professional development. She was just starting out in her career, and not being able to speak in public, or even in team meetings, was distressing and problematic.

Working hard and making more money are not entirely bad endeavours, but according to research, you’re better off focusing more on building and maintaining relationships and taking care of your health and well-being Dr Timothy Sharp

Sharp used cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) as a treatment. This involves having a client gradually face situations they fear while at the same time changing the way they think before, during and after experiencing these situations. He asked his client to join the local Toastmasters chapter, in which members learn how to become better speakers.

“At first, even joining the group was highly distressing for her, but as time went on she became more involved, eventually entering a competition and winning the state championship. As amazing and impressive as this was, just as important was seeing her confidence grow and spread to other areas of her life. She didn’t just become a more confident and competent public speaker; she felt more confident and competent overall and believed that if she could overcome her fear of speaking, she could overcome anything,” Sharp says.

Sharp in his office at The Happiness Institute in Sydney. Photo: courtesy of The Happiness Institute.
Sharp in his office at The Happiness Institute in Sydney. Photo: courtesy of The Happiness Institute.

“It made me feel so good that I could help this client, and optimistic about helping other clients. I was happy to have finally found my passion and purpose in life – something that many people never discover.”

Sharp practises what he espouses, living a life that’s consistent with his values and, as often as possible, doing what’s right rather than what’s easy. He takes his physical health and well-being seriously, exercises and meditates daily; is mindful of his thoughts; works hard to maintain relationships with close friends; and spends quality time with his wife and two children. He also loves swimming, hiking and watching live music performances, and reads to relax.

But he also understands that it’s not easy being happy all the time. And in fact, trying or expecting to feel this way isn’t something he recommends. “Having unrealistic expectations about happiness or life can lead to disappointments and frustration,” Sharp explains. “The same can be said for comparing yourself to others – something that many of us do when using social media – and focusing too much on what you think will make you happy rather than doing what makes you happy. Working hard and making more money are not entirely bad endeavours, but according to research, you’re better off focusing more on building and maintaining relationships and taking care of your health and well-being.”

When you do experience negative emotions, like sadness, anxiety, anger and frustration, Sharp suggests embracing them – it is, after all, normal for humans to feel them. The trick is to not wallow in them or allow them to overwhelm your life.

“Of course, we don’t want too many negative emotions, nor do we want to feel negative emotions intensely, but they can be helpful at times so it’s important to appreciate them for what they might be teaching us.”

Dr Happy’s tips to boost your happiness 

• Be clear about your goals, direction and life purpose

• Maintain an active and healthy lifestyle by making sure you exercise, eat right and get enough sleep

• Be positive and optimistic, but also realistic

• Develop and foster the most important relationships in your life

• Identify and focus on your strengths rather than try to ‘fix’ your weaknesses

• Live in and enjoy the present moment