TV: Don't miss Miss Universe 2015; Victoria's Secret Fashion Show

This month, at a ceremony in Vienna, Austria, 25-year-old Angelia Ong was crowned Miss Earth 2015, marking back-to-back wins for the Philippines in the competition. The Filipino-Chinese model will hold the title for 12 months while serving as an ambassador for environmental-protection campaigns worldwide. Apparently the judging was not based on physical beauty alone. Maintaining the integrity of the coronation, so we are told, the winner must exhibit a genuine love for Mother Earth along with a sincere attitude and personality that will do the environmentally themed pageant proud. Looking good in a ball gown and heels can't have hurt, though.

This week, live from Planet Hollywood, Las Vegas (oh yeah, it's all class), it's the turn of Miss Universe 2015 (Star World, tomorrow at 8am, with an encore at 9pm), as the annual celebration of exploitation returns, to the delight of teenage boys, for the 64th time!

This year's competition could have had an interesting tie-in with the ongoing United States presidential campaign, as the wildly moronic Donald Trump co-owned the pageant with NBC for many years. But, after the two camps became embroiled in an argument surrounding Trump's assertion that Mexico was sending its rapists and murderers to the US, the king bigot bought out the TV channel and sold the whole shebang. So 2015 will be a Trump-less affair (how I wish that were true the world over) but, as always, there'll be plenty of plastic beauties (Miss Universe rules do not prohibit surgical enhancement) marched about in various states of undress for our entertainment.

Moving quickly on from beauties and the beast to something with a smidgen more integrity: the "most anticipated fashion show of the year" will air on Christmas Eve, at 8pm on Star World.

After landing in London last year, the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show returns to New York for a 20th celebration of fancy pants. Making their Victoria's Secret debuts this year will be angels Kendall Jenner and Gigi Hadid (who, Google tells me, are 20-year-old American fashion models) while Lily Aldridge (practically past it at the age of 30) will slink across the catwalk in a sparkly diamond-encrusted bra worth considerably more than your average Hong Kong apartment. Breaking up the monotony of the lithe and leggy parading up and down the runway in bra and knickers will be the odd musical interlude provided by the likes of Selena Gomez, Ellie Goulding and The Weeknd. What more could you possibly wish for this festive season?

Well, perhaps a little home cooking with Jamie Oliver would be the icing on your Christmas cake. Filmed at the cheeky chef's Essex home, Jamie's Festive Feast (above; TVB Pearl, tomorrow at 8pm) is an hour-long celebration of lazy winter days spent relaxing with family and friends, with Oliver cooking up seasonal treats for everyone. Featured is plenty of top party grub, from Oozy Cheesy Pasta to Bloody Mary Beef and Festive Fiesta Tacos, to keep even the bah-humbug types salivating well into the post-Christmas come down.