Source:
https://scmp.com/magazines/post-magazine/short-reads/article/3037653/why-martin-scorsese-wrong-about-going-cinema Short Reads
Cinema etiquette: the scourge of munching at the movies
- The movie theatre experience Martin Scorsese is trumpeting doesn’t exist in the real world as noisy film-goers are ruining the entire experience with their senseless snacking
When acclaimed director Martin Scorsese celebrated the experience of going to see a film at the cinema, he overlooked the annoyance of other people watching it too. Illustration: Mario Riviera
What does Martin Scorsese know about cinema anyway? He might have directed a few fairly popular films, but has he been to a cinema recently? While a movie was actually, you know, playing?
Publicising his latest film, The Irishman , the director said: “There’s no doubt that seeing a film with an audience is really important.” He was trumpeting the “communal experience” of cosily sitting in the dark with a decorum-free assembly of people all chewing, munching or slurping.
Here’s an excerpt from a film I watched recently: “Is it just me, or [chomp-rustle-rattle] crazier out there?” And another: “I’m unsure of the [open-Pretz-box] not concerned [gnaw-on-stick]. I will rely on [crisps bag-crackle-crinkle] closest to me [open-bottle-of-fizzy-water] share mine.”
Conspicuous consumption in cinemas is traceable to the appearance of popcorn. Why are the crunch and nauseating smell of the yellow peril deemed essential to the movie-going experience?
There’s “no doubt”, Marty? This is “really important”, Marty? How so, when dialogue is scrambled by the eating habits of the person in the next seat into: “Most important thing in this town is [boiled-sweet-cellophane-wrapper], you buy a house in [pop-open-Tupperware-container] don’t rent. Hollywood [retrieve-food-from-plastic-bags-and-begin-picnic] not just visiting”?
Then there are the hot dogs (squirting sauce sachets supplied), which leave the place stinking like a greasy spoon.
With clenched fists of fury I glower (not much use in the dark), tut-tut (unheard above the tumult of biscuit packets being opened), shake head (unseen) and finally, having given up on following the narrative, tell offenders to desist or die. At this point, audience members turn, horrified, and suddenly I am the bad guy.
What raging bulls**t is this?
There are solutions to this antisocial behaviour, none of which will find favour with cinema operators. The most obvious is to close snack counters (unlikely because that would hit profits), followed by the installation of airport-style scanners programmed to detect food and drinks (potential civil-liberties infringements).
I realise, however, that the force is strong with the Scorsese camp when Helen Mirren can lob in this cherry-popping candy grenade: “F*** Netflix. There is nothing like sitting in the cinema.”
I’d be happy to patronise your local multiplex, Dame Helen. For the 11am show. Alone.