Jaded Occupy Central co-founder Benny Tai Yiu-ting reclaims his voice
For days after government officials called off planned October 9 talks with student leaders, the usually eloquent Benny Tai Yiu-ting was strangely absent from the limelight.
The Occupy Central co-founder had holed himself up in a tent next to the government headquarters in Admiralty, in the thick of the protest he launched.
Having fought off numerous battles to pursue his democracy mission, he seemed at last to have been felled by the setback to what was seen as the only way to end the Occupy action.
No one could get him to talk - not the press, not even his allies. In the rare moments when he came into sight, Tai would wave a weary hand to signal his reluctance to speak to journalists.
"I hid in the tent for days and did not want to step out as I could not come up with solutions to some problems," Tai said.
"I was a bit autistic then; I did not want to see anyone, I did not want to say anything … I wanted to write something [in the tent] but couldn't. My brain just did not function well."
Tai had his comrades - and his faith in God - to thank for helping him shake off the lethargy and bounce back. At least two of the three Occupy organisers, Tai and the Reverend Chu Yiu-ming, are Christians.
On September 28, hours after he declared the launch of the Occupy action, Tai was amazed to see the crowd - stymied by police efforts to get near the government offices - taking the courageous step of crossing Harcourt Road as cars whizzed past. The scene resembled the biblical story of Egyptians crossing the Red Sea, he said.
But what ensued pierced him to the heart - the firing of 87 canisters of tear gas on protesters.
The past month had been a roller-coaster ride for him and for many Hongkongers, Tai said. "We can feel even stronger than ever that we are at the centre of the storm," he said.
The way the sit-ins have developed has turned his life upside down. He now lives on tenterhooks, not knowing what the next day may bring. "It is entirely different from how I used to live - a middle-class resident teaching in the university," the legal scholar said. "Planning, to me, means getting ready a plan for a whole semester."
Notwithstanding the flood of criticism from pro-establishment forces and even democracy supporters, Tai has never thought of giving up.
"We have now sown the seeds … and have the responsibility to take care of the germinated," he said.
While not giving up, Tai said it was now time for Hongkongers to formulate an "end game" for the occupation.
It was not about retreat, he insisted, but how to best find a way that could facilitate the future democracy fight.
"What we can do is very little because it's Beijing who has the right to serve the ball," he said. "As long as Beijing refuses to serve a good ball, we can never receive it."