Shaolin Soccer – what a real referee thinks of Steven Chow’s football film

The chances are that you know Shaolin Soccer inside out, and if you do not then go and watch it again right now. It has played a role in popular culture, seeping into the real football world every so often.

It was reported to inspire the Japan team at the 2002 Fifa World Cup, who reportedly watched it before the tournament, while many Zlatan Ibrahimovic goals have been likened to the skills on show in the film. In fact, every time there is a wild challenge or acrobatic volley, social media calls it out as “Shaolin Soccer”.

The 2001 kung fu comedy is clearly a masterpiece and beloved of both film and football fans worldwide, but what does a real-life referee make of Steven Chow Sing-chi’s classic comedy?

We put that to local referee William Lai, asking the former Post columnist of The Rational Ref and author of Football’s Dark Arts to get out his notebook while watching the film’s football scenes.

Lai blew the whistle on a number of things the referees at the tournament let slip by – they can be thankful they were not being assessed – and what that means for our heroes.

It would be a very different film, that’s for sure.

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Let’s ignore the ragtag football team’s training sessions, as Lai points out there was no referee there, and get straight to the opening games.

We start with our team facing Team Tofu and before the action kicks off, there is a caution for a Shaolin player smoking on the pitch. Lai agreed with the yellow card but not the referee offering his hand as an ashtray, which is not covered in the Laws of the Game.

The Shaolin team set about destroying their opponents but not all of the goals should have counted, Lai noted.

“When the Shaolin player taps the ball into the goal,” for what might make the score 60-0, “the whole of the ball does not cross the goal line and therefore is not a goal.”

“According to the Laws of the Game, the definition of a goal is that the ‘whole of the ball passes over the goal line, between the goalposts and under the crossbar’. Even without goal line technology, it is obvious to anyone with 20-20 vision that it is not a goal.”

Poor from the referee and his assistants. It should have been 59-0, which probably had little impact on the goal difference column.

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Lai also noted an infringement from Shaolin player Iron Shirt, who runs with the ball almost supernaturally glued to his belly.

“A player cannot run with the ball stuck to them or in their clothing because, similar to a player trapping the ball while lying on the ground, it denies opponents the chance to fairly challenge for the ball. It is an infringement of the Laws of the Game, with an indirect free kick awarded to the opposing team.”

That was not the only cheating on show from the team we are supposed to root for. “The Shaolin player with the ball stuck to his chest did not score a goal because, as he crawled across the goal line, his left arm made contact with the ball, which is handball.” Peep, peep. No goal.

“At a long throw-in, there are three opponents holding and impeding a Shaolin player in the penalty area. Because the ball is not yet in play, it is not a penalty. However, the referee should give a clear warning to all the players involved,” Lai notes.

“Next, the long throw-in is an infringement because the thrower has not kept both feet on the ground when releasing the ball from behind his head. The correct decision should be a throw-in to the other side.”

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That would be another goal chalked off for the Shaolin team and that is not the end of their controversial play.

“The break-dance windmill spin is considered dangerous play (playing in a dangerous manner) and therefore an indirect free kick should be awarded to the opposing team.

“Playing in a dangerous manner is defined as ‘any action that, while trying to play the ball, threatens injury to someone and includes preventing a nearby opponent from playing the ball for fear of injury’.”

It is as if the refs are being encouraged to let the Shaolin side progress.

Another goal should have been chalked off, too, with goalkeeper Empty Hand throwing the ball straight into the Team Dragon net.

“A goal cannot be scored by a keeper throwing the ball directly into the other net. This is because the powers that be have decided that football does not accept goals being scored by a player’s hand or arm, even by a goalkeeper. Therefore a goal kick should be awarded.”

The referee appears to want to make amends for that decision, though.

“All the players taking potshots at the keeper have committed offside offences because the attacking players have gained an advantage from being in an offside position (there are no defenders in sight!) when the keeper makes all the saves and the ball rebounds to them.”

Shaolin stand firm and the tournament officials clearly do not review the action. So we move onto the final where they face The Devils (or Team Evil as the US dubbing would have it).

Vengeance and victory is on the line and the players appear willing to cross the line to win.

The first violation Lai noted was “When the Shaolin player jumps up and stomps on the ball, this is playing in a dangerous manner”. The referee lets it go and the tone is set.

So what about the ball changing into some manner of flaming cat? “There is nothing in the Laws of the Game regarding the ball appearing to turn into a flaming tiger or any other animal forms! So long as the ball is not defective, play continues.”

A correct decision from the officials but they soon expose their lack of familiarity with the Laws of the Game after the crossbar is damaged.

“Play cannot resume until the defective goal frame is repaired or replaced. Irrespective of whether a player possesses superhuman powers or chi energy, the Laws of the Game considers the safety of all players, ballboys and match officials,” Lai notes.

Overlooking the Devils doping, which is definitely not allowed, there are further refereeing failures.

“If the ball actually turns into a fireball, the referee should stop the match due to concerns for player safety and replace it with another ball. Restart will be a drop ball to the goalkeeper because the fireball occurred in the keeper’s penalty area.”

There was also a missed sending off for the Devils. “The referee should give a red card to the player who deliberately smashed the ball, at close range, into the keeper’s face. This is considered serious foul play since the player has used excessive force or brutality at an opponent.”

Lai noted that this was an issue in the English Premier League back in 2013 when Manchester United manager Alex Ferguson claimed that striker Robin Van Persie “could have been killed” when Swansea City’s Ashley Williams booted the ball into him from close range. “On a positive note, the keeper did prevent a goal from being scored! The score remains 0–0.”

“The throw-in to the opposing team is technically correct (overlooking the red card, obviously). The manager, instead of complaining (incorrectly) about a throw-in, should have been complaining like Alex Ferguson about the player who deliberately kicked the ball at his keeper’s head.”

There is another headache for the referee and the players to follow. “A straight red card for violent conduct to the player deliberately targeting his opponent with a headbutt. This is violent conduct (not serious foul play) because the player is not even challenging for the ball.” Play should be stopped immediately to allow for medical attention, Lai added.

There should be another straight red card for violent conduct (because it is a deliberate kick to the opponent's stomach) but not all kung fu should result in a foul.

“Many players are doing break-dance windmill spins and this is perfectly fine because they are all challenging for the ball whilst spaced far apart without being able to injure one another.” That changes when they lock legs. “This is a foul. By then continuing to break the Shaolin player’s legs, these are two red cards for violent conduct.”

Lai said there is also no excuse for the referee to miss the infractions that take place in the sky high above the pitch.

“Just as air traffic controllers, who are not pilots themselves, are expected to make reasonable decisions based on knowledge of their country’s air navigation rules and regulations, referees who do not possess the ability to fly around the football pitch (yet) are still expected to make reasonable decisions based on the Laws of the Game.”

Peep, peep. Half-time. But that does not stop the lawbreaking and the referee “retains the authority to apply the Laws of the Game” just as they do before and after the match. He fails: “Stealing a referee’s card is deemed dissent (a cautionable offence) while hitting a referee is a straight red for violent conduct.

“If the referee cannot continue after being physically attacked or is intimidated with further violence and death threats, then the match will also be abandoned.”

It is not abandoned so we move on to the second half and an immediate example of not knowing the Laws of the Game.

“In the second half, the Shaolin team starts the match with 8 players. This is allowed because the Laws of the Game permit a team to have at least seven players on the field of play.

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“The manager and the match referee are incorrect to say that should the Shaolin team lose another player, they forfeit the match. The match is abandoned only if a team has fewer than seven players.”

We kick off and the goalkeeper should have been given a yellow card for using a phone on the pitch: “Players are strictly forbidden to use communications equipment on the field of play or in the technical area.”

There is then more blatant disregard for the offside law, with Devils forwards queuing up to take potshots on the Shaolin keeper – “There are no defenders in sight so all the attackers are standing in offside positions.”

We lose a goalkeeper and the team need a replacement – enter our hero’s love interest Mui doing a decent impression of Fabien Barthez. Let’s ignore whether she is registered for the tournament or whether women are allowed to play.

She is in and she should soon be reprimanded. “The new Shaolin keeper holds the ball in her hands for 45 seconds – a goalkeeper spinning the ball on their finger is considered as having possession of the ball.

“This is much longer than the permitted six seconds and is punishable with an indirect free kick at the place of the infringement to the opposing team.” That should stop the build-up to the winning “goal” in its tracks, but Lai has a bigger issue.

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“No goal. Since the goal frame is completely obliterated, the ball technically failed to meet the requirements of scoring a goal; that is, the whole of the ball must pass over the goal line, “between the goalposts and under the crossbar”. The score remains at 0–0.”

Eagle-eyed viewers might think that the Devils goalkeeper should be booked for removing his shirt. “The goalkeeper would not get a yellow card for being shirtless, but because he is naked he could be sent off for public indecency!”

The game should also be called off: “Since the field of play is completed obliterated (there is a huge crater across the entire pitch, so the playing surface is unsuitable due to player safety concerns), the match has to be abandoned.

“There can be no winner and we, as movie and football fans, demand a rematch and therefore a sequel to Shaolin Soccer.”

Chow promised one was in the offing as far back as 2002 but we have yet to see it. Maybe this is the impetus he needs to let Shaolin win fair and square.

Lai also noted that local football could learn from the film. “The great thing about the football in this movie is, unlike with Hong Kong football, there is absolutely no time wasting whatsoever.”

“Even though the players are injured they still get on with the match rather than roll around on the ground as if mortally wounded. There is more acting in real-life football then there is in the movies.”