Car curling, gurning and ferrets – Britain and Europe’s weirdest sports

Britain lays claim to inventing some of the most beloved sports in the world. It was there that football became football (and also rugby union and then rugby league). Cricket, too, got its rules from Britain, and there are plenty of other sports that can say the same. Not every one of them is a winner of course and here are some of the weirdest to look up on YouTube and while away some of this isolation ennui. So broad is the variety that there is no place for the world egg and spoon championship, which was first held in 2017. Plus, because Britain can’t just decide it’s not in Europe (and because Belgian shepherds actually invented cricket) you will find some of the continent’s oddest additions to the sporting canon, too. Gurning might not be the weirdest sport to have started in the British Isles but, to steal from Brian Clough, it’s in the top one. Taking place in Cumbria, competitors stick their heads through a horse collar and pull faces with the ugliest taking the prize – and hoping that the wind does not change. Ferret legging seems like a term you’d be upset to read a definition of on Urban Dictionary, but it is actually the sport of putting ferrets down your trousers and seeing how long you can stand. The rodents take issue with their new surroundings, scratching and biting whatever they come across. Started in the coal mining communities of Yorkshire, there is no truth that the sport’s 1970s revival is the reason for Oasis stars Liam and Noel Gallagher’s “madferret” catchphrase. If there is one thing that can cross the British class divide it is Love Island but before that it was the ability to come up with bizarre sports. The young gentlemen at Eton College, which has gone on to provide more British prime ministers than any other school, came up with the Eton Wall Game, which is like rugby union but with more masonry. Over 55 minutes two teams try to move a ball into the opposition end and touch it against the wall (which was put up in 1717). Games more often than not end 0-0, but still they play it. Scotland gets in on the niche sports with the famed caber toss, where kilt-clad strongmen pick up a wooden pole that is almost 6 metres in length and weighs 79kg. Tossers attempt to then launch it end over end, with the best scores coming for those whose caber then falls away from the tosser. It is also popular with the lumberjacks of Canada, where the world record for most cabers tossed in a minute stands at 16. The World Snail Racing Championships have fallen victim to the Covid-19 outbreak, but there is plenty of action to catch up on. More than 200 snails – and their trainers – descend on Congham in Norfolk each year to race. “Congham is to snail racing what Newmarket is to horse racing,” organisers say. They also test for drugs and look out for cheating before the action gets under way with the shout of “Ready, set, slow.” Finland is the home of wife carrying, where there are several legends around the theft of women where the robbers would run off with them on their back. The modern sport, which sees a man carry a woman (that need not be his wife but must be 17) over a 235.5m course with obstacles, has since spread around the world. Carrying can be done as a piggyback, fireman’s lift or “Estonian-style” – with the wife carried on the front with her legs around the man’s shoulders – named after the nationality of the dominant couples of early world championships. Modern tennis owes its roots to the “sport of kings”. Not horse racing, nor falconry, nor hunting, but real tennis – the favourite of portly wedding-fan Henry VIII. Around 50 courts, which include architectural features that players can use to score points, remain in the world, mostly in Britain. Real tennis also claims the longest lineal world champion of any sport. Custard pie throwing started out as a way to make funds for an English village hall but is still going strong 50 years on. The sport sees teams of four score points based on where their pies hit opponents. A full six points is gained for hitting the face, three for the shoulder up, and one for anywhere else. It is the only sport apart from polo where players have to use their left hand. Fistball is like volleyball in that teams attempt to get a ball over a net but it claims to date back to Roman times. Unlike volleyball, players cannot use an open hand but the ball is allowed to bounce on their side of the net. Organised by the International Fistball Association, Germany are the current world champions for men and women. Bandy is Russia’s national sport, although it was first played in England in the mid-1800s. It’s basically ice hockey with a ball instead of a puck and sticks closer to field hockey. Despite its popularity with players and fans, the International Olympic Committee has so far resisted the urge to bring bandy into the fold. Germany’s “Mud Olympics” take place on the banks of the Elbe river near Hamburg. Participants compete in mud football, mud handball and other normal sports with mud hastily put in front of them. Other sports include the mud-eel race and the rubber boot toss. Another sport found in Russia, car curling is all their own. The sport, which replaces the stones of traditional curling with compact cars, was played in the town of Ekaterinburg in 2017. Teams of 10 take part with nine sliding these cars across the ice towards painted markers and one person steering. It’s basically that James Bond film where Pierce Brosnan drives on the ice. To say hockern is little more than sitting down would be taking away from the competitors who have made it more of an art form. But it is sitting down, albeit in a sportingly complicated manner. Players can spin themselves and the specially designed stool in all manner of ways before taking a seat. Oddly enough, this inefficient way of sitting down was invented in Germany. Some of Britain’s greatest contributions to the sporting world can map their lives to the local pub. While many sports try to hide that, dwile flonking does not bother – in fact, it requires competitors to drink while taking part. Two teams of 12 dance around the other while avoiding the “dwile” (a beer-soaked cloth). Most games end with the score long forgotten. Worm charming, worm grunting or worm fiddling. Call it what you will but the end result is taking what anglers do for bait and making a sport of it. Some people used to do this professionally and that is a dying trade but worm charming championships are booming, with several around the world. The world record is held by a 10-year-old who charmed 567 worms in their set time. The risk of getting egg on your face is no greater than in the egg throwing championships. Another sport from Britain that is older than you would think – dating back to 1322, according to local legend in the village of Swaton. Teams of two throw an egg between them with the winners those who throw it over the greatest distance without breaking the egg. The record is at least 98.51 metres.