More than 600 people were missing from work on Friday afternoon. We found them in the ballroom at the Grand Hyatt being entertained by the naked aggression of Dallas Seymour, David Fordham and Eric Rush, along with Bill Beaumont and Aussie comedian Bruno Lucia. Welcome to the Sevens Long Lunch. Former England grand-slam winning captain Bill Beaumont is one of the most popular figures in English rugby. As a player he was renowned for his ball skills and mobility. As an after dinner speaker, he shows the same attributes. Beaumont, who played at lock, earned 34 international caps and never missed an England game from his debut against Ireland in 1975 until his final match in 1982. He led England to the slam in 1980, ending a 23-year wait. He was on Lions tours to South Africa and New Zealand as a player and on this year's tour as manager. He was also a team captain for many years on the popular BBC quiz show A Question of Sport. Beaumont scrummed down with 600 fans at Friday's Long Lunch and here's what he said, among other things: 'It's a glamour position, lock. You spend the whole game in the dark, smelling what [front row forward] Fran Cotton had for dinner last night and never touching the ball.' 'You can always spot the backs on the field - clean kit, a full set of teeth, a centre parting and a yellow streak down their backs.' 'With Wales back on top in the Six Nations it reminds me of the 1970s when they used to win all the time with great players like Phil Bennett, Gareth Edwards and JPR Williams. One time we were playing them in Cardiff. Towards the end of the match I was leaning against a post trying to catch my breath. "The scoreboard read 28-3 to Wales and I thought 'this game could be slipping away from us'. Anyway, the whole crowd was in typical good voice and I thought to myself 'at least I've helped make somebody happy today'.' 'I had some good times on tour with the Lions. In 1974 we were in South Africa and our coach was an Irishman, Noel Murphy from Cork. We were 3-0 down heading into the final match of the tour and Murphy's team talk had us all believing if we won the last match we could tie the series. He told us 'I want you to give 80 per cent for 100 minutes'. Funnily enough, we won that one.' 'After one disappointing England Five Nations campaign the RFU decided to send us on tour against Japan, Fiji and Samoa so we could get some morale-boosting wins under our belts. First game was against Japan and we p****d on them, 19-17.' 'On that tour, it was Murphy who gave Clive, sorry Sir Clive, Woodward his first coaching experience. He told him to gather up the balls on the training field. At one training session Murphy told us to 'spread out in a bunch'. Funnily enough, the Irish players understood what he meant.' 'I was on the recent Lions tour to New Zealand. There were 44 players, 30 back-up staff and poor old Bill stuck on my own with Alistair Campbell. Actually, Alistair kindly wrote me a speech for today.' (Holds up sheet, crumples in fist and throws away).