Thou shall not step out of line: message sent loud and clear
New code of conduct, including the decree on use of social media, has 33 commandments to keep players on the straight and narrow
The law has been laid down - at last. The FA this week revealed in full its newly adopted code of conduct, a long list of dos and don'ts to be strictly adhered to whether England players are on international duty or not. There are 33 commandments warning England's prodigal and wayward stars in a foreboding tone to behave.
The edicts smack of religious zeal, though some may view them as mere adjuration - a desperate request by the despairing elders for proper behaviour among the glittering youthful rabble charged with representing their homeland. As you read the decrees, you can hear the haughty moral tone attempting to banish the badness.
Like a finger-wagging vicar, a heaven-sent smote is promised for all those who fail to comply: "Thou shalt not steal. Thou shalt not behave dishonestly or deliberately damage FA property," is how the commandments read. There shall be no more tweeting, no drug and alcohol abuse, no discrimination, no abuse and less time spent in hotel rooms playing video games.
Thou shalt not call room service at the team hotel, show utmost respect for everyone, from hotel staff to drug-testing officers and opponents, and there shall be less talking on mobile phones at meal times, the code declares.
It would be easy to joke that the code and its blindingly obvious advice on how to conduct oneself is a satirical poke at the utter lack of common sense so often deployed by England's finest. But this year alone has proved more than ever that England players must, like school kids high on an ice-cream sundae overdose, be told how to play appropriately in the playground.
Few expect players to be ascetics. But behave they must - at all times.