Fifa World Cup 2018 ‘expert’ analysis – a Japanese porn star and cringeworthy tunes from Will Smith and Sergio Ramos

The South China Morning Post’s video blog ‘World Cup on Standby’ also brings you the heaviest man in Russia and a stern warning from the Colombian embassy

PUBLISHED : Friday, 15 June, 2018, 3:55pm
UPDATED : Friday, 15 June, 2018, 3:55pm

When great minds meet, great things happen and the South China Morning Post’s video blog ‘World Cup on Standby’ is no different, with our “experts” Nic Atkin, Paul Ryding and Jonathan White tackling only the biggest issues from Russia.

The 99kg behemoth Roman Torres from Panama steals the show as the World Cup’s heaviest player and his superiority on the scales is illustrated on a carefully crafted pie chart.

Nic is quick to declare his love for Paris Saint-Germain’s Adrien Rabiot – the “handsomest man not going to the World Cup” – while Paul seems excited by the prospect of attending a World Cup final party in Macau featuring Japanese porn star Yua Mikami.

Leroy Sane may as well captain England if Germany can’t find a spot for him; in fact why not build the entire English team from the scrap heap?

The lads talk us through their effort to contact the Hong Kong embassies of all 32 teams in Russia, fat lot of good that did.

Fifa World Cup 2018 opening ceremony: Vladimir Putin puts on a shameful party for himself in Russia

However – outside of discovering that Australians already know where the pub is and Spain are one of the favourites – we did learn that one of our colleagues has a little trouble with the spelling of Colombia.

And the songs of the 2018 World Cup? All stinkers, says Jonathan, none more so than cringeworthy efforts from Will Smith and Sergio Ramos, and a Bell and Spurling number that has to be seen to be believed.