Advertisement
Advertisement
India
Get more with myNEWS
A personalised news feed of stories that matter to you
Learn more
Sima Taparia, foreground centre, is the titular match arranger in Netflix’s new hit series 'Indian Matchmaking'. Photo: Netflix

New Netflix hit ‘Indian Matchmaking’ isn’t a hit with Indian matchmakers

  • Some say it promotes false perceptions, paints the country in an anachronistic light and focuses too much on traditional, orthodox views
  • Though for others the show holds a mirror up to the ugly side of arranged marriages – and there are fears it could be bad for business
India
Sonia Sarkar
A controversial new Netflix series that follows a jet-setting Indian matchmaker finding life partners for her picky clients has drawn criticism in the country of its birth for showing a sensationalised, one-sided view of the industry that some say casts India in a bad light.

Indian Matchmaking, which debuted earlier this month, touches on the centuries-old custom of arranged marriages and features Sima Taparia – the titular match arranger – roping in astrologers, face readers and marriage coaches to accomplish her mission.

Big fat Indian weddings: the coronavirus pandemic’s latest casualty?

The eight-episode series with its blend of romance, heartbreak and toxic relationships is gaining viewers not just in India, but also in countries like the United States and Britain, where there’s a significant South Asian population.

Matchmakers like Taparia, who charge between 100,000 to 500,000 rupees (US$1,330 to US$8,000) for their services, are often called upon in India to help find suitable candidates for arranged marriages. Some families prefer to run advertisements in newspapers, however, or create profiles on so-called matrimonial sites – a marriage-focused variation on standard dating websites.

Sima Taparia pictured in a screengrab from the trailer to the Netflix series 'Indian Matchmaking'. Photo: Netflix

The new series that Taparia helms, while leaving some viewers wanting more, has been lambasted by others for its portrayal of caste, fair-skin obsession and misogyny.

“It promotes a false perception that if you are educated, fair and good looking, you won’t have a problem in finding the match,” said Meet Kanodia, the Bangalore-based co-founder of online matchmaking platform Go-Gaga-App.com.

Forbidden love: Indian inter-caste marriage ends in husband’s murder

Although the 32-year-old said he had noticed a surge in new sign-ups after the series premiered on July 16, he criticised the show for “promoting the biases of the society against strong and independent women” and its host for “monetising people’s emotions” by referring her clients to relationship coaches and palm readers.

For Shalini Singh, a fellow Bangalore resident and founder of mobile-friendly matchmaking service andwemet.com, the show seemed to have been tailor-made for a non-Indian audience who still see the country in an anachronistic light.

This show further labels India as regressive and backward
Shalini Singh, andwemet.com founder

“People in the West are talking about it because the series fits well with the negative perceptions that they have about India,” the 49-year-old said. “This show further labels India as regressive and backward.”

Singh objected to Taparia’s use of the word sanskaari (cultured) in the show when referring to the families of potential grooms. She said it was often used to mean marrying in accordance with a person’s skin colour or their parents’ wishes – which she described as “social conditioning and cannot be called Indian culture”.

“We never ask for skin colour or caste or religion when people sign up,” Singh added.

The concept of arranged marriages – essentially pre-vetted dating but with a more urgent and definite slant toward marriage – has for years fascinated Westerners. For many Indians, even Western-educated ones, the pressure to get married builds steadily from the mid-20s and several of the singles in the reality series say dating apps and online matchmaking has not worked for them.

Tania Malhotra Sondh, right, and Mishi Mehta Sood, co-founders of personalised offline matrimonial service MatchMe. Photo: Handout
But Tania Malhotra Sondhi, the Delhi-based co-founder of a personalised offline matrimonial service called MatchMe, which also operates in Singapore, said the show had chosen to focus only on “orthodox” people looking to be wed, rather than the many Indians who nowadays look only for “mutual trust, respect and acceptance” – even in arranged marriages.

Unlike Taparia, who stresses in the show that marriages in India are between “two families” with the parents guiding their children, Sondhi said she did not allow relatives to get involved in the matchmaking process unless the prospective couple had requested it themselves.

Traditional views on Indian matchmaking can present themselves in a number of different ways. Meghan Nagpal, a 28-year-old Indian student currently living in Canada, said that after her mother had signed her up for a matrimonial website she immediately started being contacted by prospective grooms’ mothers “asking for my horoscope before I could even ask the names of their sons”.
A screengrab from the trailer to 'Indian Matchmaking'. Marriages in India are traditionally thought of as between two families, not two individuals. Photo: Netflix

She was among the 1,700 or so people who signed a petition last month calling for one such website to remove a “skin colour filter” that allowed users to search for potential partners on the basis of their complexion. The feature has since been removed.

In the days since it first aired, Indian Matchmaking has caused quite a stir on social media, with some describing it as a “cringe fest” for highlighting the worst of Indian culture, including sexism and racism.

“[Matchmaking] reduces women to cattle, where you are repeatedly subject to humiliation and insult,” wrote one Twitter user. Others felt the series held a mirror up to the ugly side of arranged marriages, with one Facebook user saying she had met men who demanded that their would-be wife be both “mentally and physically” attractive, as well as “compatible” with his family – just like one of the show’s stars.

Priya Shah – a Mumbai-based matchmaker who caters only to upper-caste Hindu industrialists and professionals in India and abroad – rejected the show as “scripted” with “biases against India” in mind, though she admitted to receiving hundreds of calls inquiring about her services since the show premiered.

“I never encourage my clients to go to astrologers or face-readers,” said Shah, stressing that she never goes into clients’ bedrooms or peers into their wardrobes like Taparia does, either.

Kanodia, of Go-Gaga-App.com, was concerned that the series could put people off using traditional matchmaking services like Taparia’s – especially in light of her repeated calls for women to “compromise” and “adjust” as she urged them to partner up with someone from her roster of clients, seemingly without regard for their feelings or desires.

Prospective clients will become “cautious and sceptical” of professional matchmaking services after watching the series, he said. “It will not be easy to find matches.”

Additional reporting by Bloomberg

Post