Indonesian MP says his three wives are proof polygamy can be ‘good and harmonious’
- Achmad Fadil Muzakki Syah, who told reporters he and his wives ‘regularly sleep together in one bed’, aims to showcase his family as an example of polygamy done right
- The act has been slammed as ‘disgusting’ by activists, who say polygamy hurts women and children
When Indonesian politician Achmad Fadil Muzakki Syah was sworn in as a lawmaker in the new parliament last Tuesday, he created a buzz when he showed up at the ceremony with his three wives in what was believed to be a first for a public figure.
Pictures of Achmad giving the thumbs up, surrounded by his three smiling spouses, went viral in an event which he hoped would showcase his family as an “example” of how to carry out “good and harmonious polygamy”.
“It is my intention to bring the press attention to my family to be an example to show that polygamy can be good and harmonious … there is no need for secretive acts, nikah siri, or to have affairs,” Achmad, who is also known as Lora Fadil, was quoted as saying by the Liputan6.com news portal.
Nikah siri is a marriage that follows religious norms but is not recognised by the state.
Achmad, 39, an MP from the National Democratic Party (Nasdem), married his first wife 22 years ago, and has had two more marriages in the past eight years. He has seven children.
He was not coy in sharing his bedroom secrets, telling local media that he and his three wives “regularly sleep together in one bed”.
Achmad’s bold display was decried by the country’s women activists, who called it “shameful” and “disgusting”, and that it would only encourage more men in Indonesia to do the same, to the detriment of women and children.
I see polygamy as a form of domestic violence against wives and children.
“I don’t recall any public official blatantly parading around his wives like that. Former vice-president Hamzah Haz has more than one wife, but I think only the first wife made public appearances,” said Hera Diani, managing editor and co-founder of Indonesia’s online feminist magazine Magdalene.co.
“I am disgusted. I grew up as a Muslim and I am appalled by the increased performative Islam with vulgar religious expression, including the campaign for polygamy,” said Hera, adding that she is against polygamy.
In recent years, Indonesia has seen an increase in people carrying out polygamy, with the rise of conservative Islam and the emergence of dating apps for men seeking a second wife.
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Seminars for men and women on how to “manage polygamy” are becoming increasingly common.
Islamic scholar and chairperson of the Indonesian Conference on Religion and Peace (ICRP) Siti Musdah Mulia said polygamy was allowed in the early years of Islam as it was then a patriarchal society and an age of ignorance.
“But with the development of Islam, there is no reason for polygamy as all the conditions for fairness [in polygamous marriages] are difficult to be fulfilled,” said Siti.
According to Siti, Indonesian marriage law is problematic as the regulation of polygamy is unclear. While the basis of the marriage law is monogamy, there is no sanction for polygamy.
Siti described Lora as an “embarrassment” with no sense of ethics and shame.
“Even if he is convinced that his faith permits polygamy, he should have some ethics; a sense of shame,” said Siti.
“But what is more embarrassing are the women who are willing to be his wives. They have no self-worth, to allow themselves to be displayed as dolls,” she added.
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Hera says she has first-hand knowledge of how women and children in polygamous marriages suffer, as her own grandfather had three wives.
“The men will tell you they’ll be fair to all their wives and children, but that is just b******t. There is never fairness when it comes to giving attention and affection to the wives and children,” said Hera.
She said many wives and children end up having to struggle financially as a husband’s resources become stretched by a large family.
Hera cited her grandfather’s family as an example.
A low-ranked military officer with limited means, he could not provide well for his three wives and 11 children. As a result, only two of the children made it beyond high school, with one graduating from university and another obtaining a diploma.
Even in wealthy polygamous families, children would experience psychological hardship due to a lack of attention from their fathers, Hera said.
“It creates a wounded generation where children have no father figure [and] have to compete for his attention,” she said. “I see polygamy as a form of domestic violence against wives and children.”
