- What do you do when you’re jealous of a friend, and how do you apologise after getting into a fight with your father?
- If you have difficult or embarrassing questions to ask about teen life, send them in anonymously and ‘Friend of a Friend’ will do their best to help
My friend and I make videos that we upload on YouTube, but his clips are way better than mine. He’ll usually share his videos with me before he uploads them and ask for feedback, but I don’t want to watch them because they make me jealous. Mine are so bad in comparison, and it makes me want to stop. I don’t feel like I’ll ever be as good as him. I want to ask him not to share because I feel insecure about my own videos, but that makes me feel like a terrible friend. What can I do?
Hi Can’t Compare,
Sharing a hobby with a friend can be a really fruitful experience when you can talk about your ideas and progress. But, sometimes it can feel frustrating when you’re comparing yourself to them. It’s fine if you feel insecure, but you should try to open up about these struggles with your friend and find a solution together, instead of dragging them down because they are succeeding. Supporting him will make you feel so much better!
Remember that when your friend is asking for feedback, it’s not about you or your own work - removing yourself from the equation will help you overcome jealousy. He wants your approval and comments on his videos before he uploads them on YouTube, so if anything, it is a compliment because he values your opinion.
Your friend wants to know what you think - that means he values your opinion!
It’s important to remember that this is not a competition between you two - you are simply at different stages of your journey! Some people pick up hobbies quicker than others, or have a particular eye for things, but it doesn’t mean that you won’t get there, too. Sure, it might take more effort, but that doesn’t mean you should stop entirely. Quitting because you’re not good at it yet means you will never be good at it. Things take time, so keep going.
Constructive criticism is a key aspect of any creative process. Your first draft will not be perfect. People improve because they’re asking how they can do things better, and it’s likely your friend’s videos have become better because he is getting perspectives and ideas from others that he wouldn’t necessarily have on his own.
If you’re really feeling like your work isn’t good in comparison, instead of turning to jealousy, try asking your friend for a second opinion and you’ll be surprised how fresh eyes give you a new way of looking at your videos. They may not even be as bad as you think it is! Most importantly, remember to have fun. This is a hobby after all, and you should be doing this for personal enjoyment and growth, rather than one-upping your friend.
Good luck, Friend of a Friend
I got into a fight with my dad because I was supposed to do my evening chores but I forgot. After an hour, my dad came into my room to remind me, but I backtalked him (I don’t even know why) and we got into an argument. He seemed angry when he left my room, but he came back later to say goodnight, and instead of talking it out, I told him to leave me alone. He looked sad and just said OK and left. I felt really bad about it afterwards, but he went to sleep. I noticed he did my chores for me, and now I feel really guilty because I was mean to him. I want to say sorry but don’t know how.
Hi Guilty Girl,
Family arguments are normal, and you will eventually make up with your dad if you take action to correct your mistake. Say sorry to him as soon as you get the chance - whether that is face to face or a written note is up to you. Your dad will forgive you if you are genuinely remorseful about it and want to make a change. It’s really important to acknowledge when we’ve messed up, so it’s good that you’re reflecting on this moment and thinking about what to do.
Show how sorry you are by doing the chores without being asked. Don’t leave them until later or until you have to be reminded! You can even do a little extra around the house if you want to go further, or perhaps do something special for your dad like get his favourite snack or make him a cup of tea when he usually wants one. You could also spend some quality time together and go for a walk or watch a film if you want to make sure he knows how much you love him.
When your family members are talking to you, it can be easy to feel annoyed. In the future, instead of being so quick to respond, take a moment to think about what you’re going to say and how the other person will receive it. Be more mindful about your actions and that will help you avoid arguments.
I hope this helps you, Friend of a Friend
If you have a question you’d like answered (about anything at all), please send an email to
[email protected] with “Asking for a Friend” in the subject line. Don’t worry, you will remain anonymous!