Asking for a Friend: Help! I’m being cyberbullied and I don’t know what to do
- Each week, we respond to a question from our readers and give advice and resources they can turn to
- This week, we help a student who is being harassed online by some classmates
Cyberbullying is a serious problem, and you shouldn’t have to put up with it. Photo: ShutterstockNeed an answer to a personal question that you’ve never mustered the courage to ask? We’ve been there. Whether it is about school, family issues or social life, share your thoughts with us. If you have a question you’d like answered (about anything at all), please fill out this Google Form. Don’t worry – you will remain anonymous!
Dear Friend,
Last year, I got bullied by some of my classmates. It turned out fine. This year, I am not in the same class as these students, but they have started to bully me in an online chat room. They said I was a monster! I feel so sad and afraid, and I don’t know what to do. Please help.
Signed, Bullied
Help! I try talking about my problems but everyone says to ‘toughen up’
Dear Bullied,
We’re relieved to hear that you were able to handle your bullies last year, and it is unfortunate that they have moved their harassment online. Please remember that none of this is your fault. Have you spoken to your teacher, counsellor or parents about the bullying or confronted the bullies in person? Considering how long this has been going on, bringing an adult into the situation is important.
We know you may not feel safe confronting the bullies – in person or online – and that is completely understandable. Don’t respond to their messages or write your own nasty post in the chat room because it will only worsen the situation.
Instead, collect as much evidence of the bullying as you can. Take screenshots of everything, and include the time and date in the screenshots if possible. Then, leave the chat so you don’t have to see the messages and continue to be psychologically affected by them. If this chat room is on a specific website, you could report the chat to the site or its relevant online service provider – they usually have anti-bullying policies in place and will either delete or ban the bullies.
Either way, you now have proof of their comments to show your parents, teacher, and whatever adults you need to speak to. Don’t be afraid to reach out for help! They care about you and want you to have a safe, positive environment in which you can thrive.
In the meantime, remember that the bullies’ hurtful comments have nothing to do with you and everything to do with the issues the bullies are facing themselves. Still, their mental health is not your concern, especially when they are acting the way they are. So make sure to prioritise your mental health. Speak to a school counsellor or social worker; they have experience handling issues like this and can provide the emotional support you need.
It might be good to step away from the internet for a while. Turn off your phone or computer for a night, or consider a proper hiatus from social media. This will give you some time to breathe. Practise relaxation exercises, do things you enjoy to reduce anxiety and make a list of things you feel grateful for to help bolster your mood and focus on the bright side of life.
We hope our advice was helpful and that you can stop the bullying once and for all.
You’ve got this, Friend of a Friend
The question was answered by clinical psychologists from the Department of Health under Shall We Talk, a mental health initiative launched with the Advisory Committee on Mental Health.