This shortage of toilet paper and the insane lengths people are going to to get their hands on a roll (how could we forget the great loo roll robbery?) is no joke these days, but we all need to stay calm. These, however are jokes: some toilet-related humour to distract you from the fact that you may be down to your last few squares of tissue.
Man: Do we need more toilet paper?
Woman: I don’t know, but if you buy some it wouldn’t go to waste.
Man: Well, technically, it would.
There are two reasons you shouldn’t drink from the toilet.
Number one and number two!
Why were there balloons in the bathroom?
Because there was a birthday potty!
Why couldn’t the police officers catch the toilet thief?
They had nothing to go on!
I recently bought a toilet brush …
Long story short, I’m going back to toilet roll!
What did one toilet say to the other?
“You look a little flushed!”
Why didn’t the toilet roll make it across the road?
It got stuck in the crack!
Why did the elephant bring toilet paper to the party?
Because he’s a party pooper!
Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill?
It wanted to get to the bottom.
Why does Queen Elizabeth only play poker on the toilet?
Because that way, she’s guaranteed a royal flush!
Man: How is your toilet paper business going?
Woman: Really well, actually, I’m on a roll!
Two rolls of toilet paper walked into a bar.
… one ran out.
All gifs via GIPHY
Toilet humour is not my favourite kind of joke …
But it’s a solid number two.