Brain Game: What would Podcast say to the app Clubhouse?

  • Each week, our readers vote for their favourite answer and the contestant with the least votes is eliminated
  • This week, they imagine a conversation between good old fashioned podcasts and the latest craze, Clubhouse
Kelly Fung |

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Have you gotten hooked on Clubhouse?

Contestant 1

Hey, Clubhouse. I think your concept is pretty cool! I do think live streaming is a tad lazy (I mean, how can you compete with my epic sound effects and well-thought-out episodes?). Err, you don’t happen to have an extra invite code for me, do ya?

Contestant 2

Dear Clubhouse,

Hi, how are you? You are a special kind of social media like no other. Nowadays, people pay more attention to freedom of speech. However, Facebook and Twitter, two of the world’s most popular social media networks, are imposing new rules that restrict free speech. Given this situation, people can use your app now. It’s great, right?

We have the same enemies. Can we be friends and fight for the same goals?

Best wishes,

Contestant 3

Podcast: Hey! Why are you trying to make me obsolete like those before me? Joe Rogan will not be pleased with this!
Clubhouse: Well, this is simply natural selection. You’re old and out-of-fashion, while I am up to date and contemporary. In fact, Elon Musk uses me, too, and you know how things work out with him. It is only a matter of time before the “Joe Rogan experience” becomes the “Clubhouse experience”, and you’ll become a vintage piece.

Contestant 4

Dear Clubhouse,

How are you? Hope you are doing well! From the first day, I have been watching you grow. You know what? I am proud of you! Continue! Just one small suggestion, give this to Android users. They are looking forward to using you.

Best Wishes,

Contestant 5

“Hey Clubhouse, I see what you’ve done. You’ve taken my ideas and used them to your advantage. Many people have gone far in life with me, earning success and riches through their podcasts. And now you have just walked in with your “drop-in audio chats”. You think you did something there? You’re just another messaging app; I am bigger and grander. You’ll never be as entertaining as me. We cater to everyone, and who doesn’t love different aspects of life?”
– Love, Podcast

Contestant 6

Podcast: Hey, Clubhouse! How are you getting along?
Clubhouse: Good!
Podcast: How’s it going being a copycat?
Clubhouse: Copycat? Everyone wanted something new and that’s what I gave them! An app where audio is respected more than images; an app where people can spread their ideas worldwide and interact with others!
Podcast: But you’re stealing my spotlight! MY USERS!
Clubhouse: There is no easy way to say this ... You’re out, I’m in!

Contestant 7

Hello everyone. This is your faithful reporter speaking. We were scrolling through the internet the other day, plotting the next interesting, yet knowledgeable episode for you all, when something caught our inquisitive eyes. Now, I really don’t know how to tell you this ... the app Clubhouse is really snatching our wigs off! A “live” podcast that is much better than us! 

Contestant 8

I feel like Podcast would be thoroughly intimidated by Clubhouse. Like damn, you got Elon Musk and Mark Zuckerberg on your platform, so may be I should back off. Compared to Clubhouse, Podcast is barely an app, and it knows it.

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