Starring: Shia LaBeouf, Megan Fox, Jon Voight
Director: Michael Bay
Category: IIA
As a throwaway joke in Transformers, a rogue robot temporarily transforms into a police car. On the side panel where it should read 'to serve and protect' the slogan has been changed to 'to punish and enslave'. Some might say that's exactly what director Michael Bay offers, too.
A maker of shockingly grandiose and vacuous apocryphal popcorn fare, Bay is variously revered and reviled. Transformers, based on the children's toy action figures, is indeed punishing in its relentless visceral eye-candy and mercilessly dumbed-down narrative. But, enslaving? Only to a generation that no longer expects a 21/2-hour movie to make sense to adults.
In short, the skimpy plot involves a group of good alien robots (Autobots) trying to save Earth from bad robots (Decepticons), while assorted humans with varying degrees of interesting back stories try not to get stomped on by the clanking creatures. Mostly, the good guys are trying to protect a young nerd (Shia LaBeouf), who possesses a secret all the alien robots seek, and the hot chick (Megan Fox) he's infatuated with.