David Tang Wing-cheung might be a big fan of the Chiva-Som health resort, but he's not much of a salesman for them. Sir David was invited to share his experiences at the Thailand wellness retreat - where people go to detox, meditate and generally do 'New Agey' things - on Wednesday at the second of two evening receptions at the Kee Club. The idea was for the bon vivant to gush about what a great place it is to get healthy and 'chillax' (chill out and relax), as the hip people might say. Instead, Tang spoke off the cuff and was probably more honest than the spa's representatives hoped. After joking about his portly silhouette - 'I am the way I am because I haven't been to Chiva-Som in a while' - Tang then declared he was a regular patron and had enjoyed the resort countless times. However, he added that Chiva-Som was not as 'luxurious' as some other destinations and 'the rooms are small'. Guests, surprised by his candour, giggled awkwardly. In a roundabout way, he suggested the sparseness and lack of excessive comfort was a good thing. 'You need to have a sense that you are in prison. It's very no-nonsense.' The resort's people were laughing too, but surely they were thinking about damage control. Just when it appeared Tang was going to say nice things, he pointed out: 'The first thing to know about Chiva-Som is: you have to be rich [to afford it].' Nice, it's an expensive jail with small cells. With clients like Tang, who needs competitors?