LettersWhy parents must think before being too strict with children

2-MIN READ2-MIN

Parenting style has a long-term impact on the behaviour and personality of children. Photo: Handout

Published: 8:45am, 15 Nov 2020Updated: 8:45am, 15 Nov 2020

Parenting styles are mainly categorised as authoritarian, authoritative, permissive and neglectful. How parents choose to discipline their children can have a long-term impact on their behaviour and personality.

Studies of how parents react to young children have found that those who grow up with authoritative parents exhibit more positive behaviour compared to the children of authoritarian or permissive parents.

What is the difference between authoritarian and authoritative parenting? If you are strict about your child’s academic achievement, punish them severely for not getting high marks and are stingy with allowing free time, you are an authoritarian. In contrast, an authoritative parent might not even have rules about academic achievement. They encourage their children and teach them how to do better without punishing them, yet this does not mean their children do badly.

There can be many problems if parents are too strict with their children. When an authoritarian parent makes and enforces all the rules without any regard for the child’s opinions, the child is never involved in problem-solving. On the other hand, an authoritative parent who makes rules but also takes into account the child’s opinions can teach her about decisions and consequences.

Consider the child of authoritarian parents who really wants to play the violin but is forced to play the piano. Thereafter, even if she is really good at playing the piano, she might be unhappy. A child of authoritative parents, on the other hand, would be allowed to figure out what she wants and what she is good at.

Many readers are going to be parents one day. Please think before you discipline your children. Your every word and action could affect them. Please don’t be an authoritarian parent.

Joy Kwok, Whampoa