The Naked Truth | Tips for a better sex life: more talk and less action will help Hong Kong couples in the bedroom
Forget about sexual acrobatics or obsessing about your performance between the sheets – it’s being communicative, respectful and generous to the one you love that matters most of all
The fear of not being good in bed is a source of great sexual insecurity for many and it could lead to crippling self-doubt, meaning people are often reluctant to share their feelings with others, even their partners.
Some of the burning questions people have but don’t dare to ask openly include: “How does one become good in bed?”, “Is it something you are born with?”, “If not, is it something you could learn?” or “Could bad sex break a relationship?”
These typical questions may not encapsulate the prerequisites for being a good lover, but at least they show many do value being seen in a good light as a sexual partner. Some people seem more natural than others between the sheets but sadly, it’s something we can’t really explain scientifically.
It’s like trying to work out why some individuals are more awkward at public speaking than others. But they can still train themselves to overcome their fear and build confidence over time, provided they are willing to learn and practise it.
Sex is the same; some are more self-conscious in bed or have doubts about their body image or question if they are skilful enough to please their partners. Understandably, people in general are curious if they are doing the right thing in the bedroom. Concerns about their own performance are bound to rise from time to time, especially if they don’t get regular reassurance from their partners.
Ariadna Peretz, founder of Maitre D’ate Ltd, a Hong Kong-based matchmaking agency, is optimistic however that the problem can be fixed if there is an open channel of communication.