The Naked Truth | Why this relationships coach says couples can use pornography to enhance their sex lives
Many couples will balk at talking about pornography, says Valentina Tudose, but two people in a loving relationship can use it to find new pathways to pleasure. Concealing its use from a partner can wreck a marriage, she warns
The digital age allows us to access all kinds of things instantaneously – and that includes pornography.
Some see pornography as a perversion of human sexuality. Others warn that viewing pornography can be addictive and wreck relationships. Most women feel angry and betrayed upon discovering that their partners use porn, because they don’t understand why men need such explicit sexual materials when they already enjoy regular and loving sex.
The reality is that most of us seek mental stimulation, something the sexual routines of a committed relationship may not deliver, says Valentina Tudose, a relationship expert at Happy Ever After, a Hong Kong-based dating agency.
“There is a big difference between sex in a committed relationship and the mental stimulation provided by pornography. It is very common that, after the initial lust and attraction phase, couples quickly settle into sexual routines, which often lead to boredom and lack of exploration,” she says.
When couples no longer feel stimulated, each partner needs to find a way to cope with the drop in their sexual satisfaction. Men may turn to pornography to meet their sexual needs, while women are more likely to shut down their sexual desires and start to think of sex as a chore or duty.