My little boy, Tom, is a bad sleeper. We have had disrupted nights ever since he was born 14 months ago. Every time I manage to get him to sleep through the night and congratulate myself about it, sickness, teething or some mystery element strikes and turns my nights upside down again.
Neither my husband nor I have slept through the night for well over a year now and we are feeling the toll. We are often tired and cranky. Both of us are naturally active and energetic people and would like to return to form. Above all, I think Tom would benefit from unbroken sleep.
I have read many books on the subject and tried various methods, to no avail. A friend of mine whose two children woke frequently at night hired a nanny, Gail Johnson. I call her out of desperation.
"Sleep problems are usually unintentionally created by parents who think they are doing good by their child," says Johnson. "Children learn by the standards parents set."
I know that I am guilty of two very bad habits: if Tom wakes in the night I give him milk and if he cries for any length of time I rock him to sleep.
Johnson says that, by now, Tom should be sleeping 12 hours a night and two hours during the day. She suggests that, as well as providing a structured bedtime routine, we use a "progressive waiting" technique when he wakes in the night. This technique is often called Ferberising after Richard Ferber, the American doctor who popularised it.