Rookie Mum: sibling jealousy

Recently, we held a children's party, which was a great success. However, one person seemed a little less than enthralled by the event - my 18-month-old son, Tom.

All of a sudden his house was full of other children, all of whom were playing with his toys. On top of this, his mother, who usually pays him plenty of attention, was busy chatting to them.

His nose was very clearly out of joint. It became evident when a friend's daughter climbed onto my lap. Tom scrambled up next to her and tried to wedge himself between us by sitting on top of my stomach. Since I am now bulging with baby number two, the arrangement was somewhat precarious.

That's the first time I've seen Tom display any signs of jealousy. I am keen to know what to do to minimise such behaviour once his sister is born. At the moment, he has my full attention, and also that of my husband and our helper. Come May, however, some of that attention will have to be shared with our new arrival.

"Envy is a very primitive emotion resulting from greed and related to the baby's intense desire to have the nurture and attention of his mother, who also provides for the needs of the sibling, only to himself," says Hadas Hecht, director of the Child and Family Development Practice.

Jealousy is a natural emotion which can have benefits, such as helping to "develop competitiveness, achievement, initiative and assertiveness", she says. "However, there is a fine line between fostering positive character traits and jealousy that can lead to aggressive behaviour and a sense of deprivation and helplessness."