There are so many ways to break off a relationship; at least 50, if you believe the popular 1975 song by Paul Simon, 50 Ways to Leave Your Lover . But is it acceptable to just slip out of your partner’s life without warning, justification or closure? Some people choose to handle it this way because they want to avoid drama, but others think this is a cop out. It is bad to leave a relationship without setting things straight, a process that helps to gain closure – something that can benefit both of you. When we pursue someone romantically, we tend to put in a lot of effort to earn their love. So when we quit, the least we can do is to give it a respectable ending. Your soon-to-be-ex partner is entitled to it, and you would probably agree if you were on the receiving end. Why bad sex can ruin a good relationship and what to do about it In today’s modern dating scene, some even choose the convenient-but-cruel way of “ghosting” someone by ceasing all communication and contact over an extended period in the hope that their former partner eventually gives up and moves on. I think disappearing on someone you once shared love and intimacy with is not only immature, but cowardly. The end of a relationship is traumatic and sometimes feels like emotional torture. The person who terminated the relationship is usually the one sleeping a little easier at night, but this certainly isn’t always the case. Whatever the situation, you need to be considerate of the other person’s feelings. If you are the “dumper”, take your time and do it right. Equally, if you are on the receiving end, then find a balance between respecting the other person’s decision and gaining closure. A friend told me her boyfriend went on a train journey in Europe without her for a few weeks. At the end of it, he rang her from Germany to tell her he was not coming back. They were engaged at the time. There are so many ways to walk out of a relationship. But walking out like that is the worst and most despicable conduct. Everybody handles matters of the heart differently, but the fundamentals remain the same: when you are dealing with a person, even though the love is gone, you should still end things with grace, maturity and respect. Be honest about how you feel without laying blame on your partner. Be clear in your words and actions Once you have decided to break up with someone, don’t hesitate – just do it. Some people drag it on for months or years because they don’t know how to end it. It isn’t right to stay in a relationship that has no love and is going nowhere. Instead of trying to shy away from the emotional discomfort of a break-up, you must confront it. It is easier said than done, but it should always be done sooner rather than later. You can say what you need to in a face-to-face meeting. There is no other reasonable way to have this talk; your words and actions need to mean something, and doing it through electronic devices, such as via email or video call, can be seen as impersonal or, at worst, disrespectful. Be honest about how you feel without laying blame on your partner. Be clear in your words and actions; you do not want any ambiguity that might lead to the misunderstanding that there is a possibility of reconciliation. Be strong and firm in the way you speak and act, but also be kind and choose your words carefully so as not to cause any unnecessary pain and anxiety. When it is all done, you should distance yourself from your ex-partner because getting back in touch too soon will give out mixed signals. You should avoid all calls or any kind of contact through social media. In fact, this may be the right time to start ghosting your ex-partner. Even though you may want to remain friends, this is not the time to foster a new kind of friendship yet. Right after you have ended your relationship, you probably need time to work through your feelings to “mourn” the loss before you get the sense of finality required for a rewarding and fulfilling new life. I always believe how a person ends a relationship shows a lot about their real character. The rule of thumb is to show respect, decency and love, even at the end when love has faded. Online dating tips: how to avoid heartbreak and find true love There is no right or wrong way to feel or respond when a relationship ends. We all feel and react differently depending on our personality, background or even our past relationships. There can be better or worse ways to finish a relationship and it is your choice. At the end of the day, decent endings bring decent, fresh beginnings. Someone can break your heart, but it doesn’t mean that they can break you. Luisa Tam is a senior editor at the Post