The Naked Truth | Why staying friends with an ex can be good for both, if done correctly
- Divorce or the end of a long-term relationship does not have to be fraught with heartache and separation – a lifelong friendship can still blossom
- Just be careful not to do it to rekindle an old romance as it will only end in tears
![Women discus life's problems.
[17MARCH2019]
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You and your peers may have very split opinions on this matter, but when it comes to trying to stay friends with an ex, I can’t say I have ever been tempted by the prospect. But somehow by a strange twist of fate or for whatever reason, a few of my ex-partners have turned out to be very good friends.
To be clear, I do not have that many former partners who are my close friends. But speaking of the few within my inner circle, I deeply cherish their friendships and value their judgment.
The reason is both simple and practical; these exes know me very well, and when I go to them for advice or moral support, you can go straight to the heart of the matter. I don’t have to fill them in on things like my personal background, my rationale, and other points of context in relation to a dilemma I may be suffering. It also means that I do not have to dance around delicate personal details (for obvious reasons). In short, there is a very special and strong bond between us, which may have, in part, been reinforced by our intimate past.
It can be both comforting and awkward to be so close to someone who is not your partner any more. Sometimes, it can cause unease for their current partner or maybe even yours. Of course, there are advantages and disadvantages for all parties concerned. However, it is not that unusual to be tempted to stay in touch with an ex, provided you parted on amicable terms; many of us have been there. More often than not, such a relationship does not materialise because of the constraints of your current relationship – either for you, for them, or both parties.
But if you have an inkling it is going to happen, by all means, go for it. Even though some people might tell you that it is wrong, only you know how you feel. It is your personal decision. There is no need to write it off. Just so long as neither one of you are either harbouring any hope of reconciliation, intending to keep the other person on the side as “back up”, or hope to turn your former relationship into a “friends with benefits” situation.