The Naked Truth | Gender-neutral kids: how parents can encourage non-binary behaviour and help kids be themselves
- Parents need to understand they should not pressure children to conform to so-called gender norms, says a Hong Kong-based sex educator
- They can take small steps to open their children up to the concept of being gender-free, such as letting them play with whatever toys they want
When Disney’s highly popular animated film Frozen came out in 2013, the main character Princess Elsa captured the hearts of children across the globe – even boys.
The magical allure of Elsa reportedly worried quite a lot of parents. Here in Hong Kong, some were concerned about their sons being drawn too close to the “ice queen”. Their anxiety was encapsulated by the revelation that local Canto-pop diva Miriam Yeung dissuaded her son from owning stereotypical female toys, including Elsa. Yeung even admitted she would scold her son for showing affection for Elsa.
Her rationale – like that of many parents – was that her son, being a boy, should not play with girls’ toys. This stems from the deep-rooted belief that if a boy does such things, he might turn into a “sissy”, explains Bau Chung Sze-wan, a sex educator and registered social worker.
“[Such] stereotypical parenting techniques are not only outdated, but also dangerous,” Chung says. “Liking Elsa does not automatically reflect a tendency of a boy becoming or wanting to become a girl or gay.”
She explains that the concept of gender is a socially constructed idea to categorise sexual identity and sexual orientation, as well as the expression of such identity and orientation.