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Luisa Tam

There is a growing belief that cultivating a sense of “being” helps achieve self-empowerment and deeper happiness in life on many different levels.
The concept of being means you are existing in the most basic sense without focusing on distractions.
“It is being present in the moment, still and quiet, and having the ability to sit still and be with yourself,” says Dr Kristin Zeising, a clinical psychologist and certified sex therapist.
“It is the most basic essence of you, without labels or titles, not bound by actions or behaviours. It can be achieved by breathing and letting go of thoughts and just being in your body and letting go.”
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In our goal-focused society, “doing” is more common and valued. But just being is growing in popularity as we become more aware that the doing can burn us out, Zeising explains.
“It’s our achievements, accomplishments, and staying busy doing something that keeps us preoccupied so that we feel like something is getting done. Sadly, we often get caught up in ‘doing’ rather than just ‘being’,” she says.
Big-city people like Hongkongers are often excessively “doing” because of their goal-oriented nature. Connecting with their inner selves and enjoying the moment is a foreign concept.
Our lives tend to be mostly about doing, working hard to build a better future, and this causes us to neglect the joy of living in the moment. We tend to live life for a future moment, and often end up being unhappy in life and in relationships as a result.
It may not take away your problems and challenges, but with being you can at least change your approach and summon the energy and motivation to face your predicaments. Armed with that positivity, you will find the power and determination from within yourself to take on these challenges.
Learning to love ourselves and each other for being just who you are rather than your title or what you have done can bring more peace and acceptance
Dr Kristin Zeising
This type of present-moment-focused approach is widely practised in activities such as meditation and yoga that advocate mindfulness – which has been shown to help treat mood disorders. It will give you not only a deeper sense of happiness, but also inner calm.
Sometimes, even when you are doing mundane household chores or taking care of your children, you can still focus on the intrinsic feeling that motivates you to clean up or look after your loved ones as a way of showing love and affection.
Focus on that warm and loving feeling to put yourself in a moment of deeper meaning, which gives you a sense of purpose and being.
Every moment of your daily life can be meaningful if you allow yourself to have that moment of being – it is all about perspective and approach. And practising being can also help spice up romantic relationships.
“Learning to love ourselves and each other for being just who you are rather than your title or what you have done can bring more peace and acceptance,” Zeising says. “It allows you just to ‘be’, rather than judge yourself for not doing enough or more, or what’s expected of you, and takes away stress and pressure.”

Focusing on being is effective in countering our often stressful lifestyles. When we are overworked, overstressed and feel like we aren’t doing enough in our lives, we often feel unfulfilled. When we are preoccupied with doing, we can become overactive and distracted. That triggers stress, anxiety and depression, Zeising warns.
Everybody can learn to just be, according to Zeising.
“It just takes a desire to do so, some effort and a shift in perspective. You can turn into your body and emotions and get to know what they are saying to you. The more you do things like cultivate mindfulness and meditate, the more you can learn to listen when things are out of balance.”
People who overthink or whose brains are constantly focused on the next “to do” item on their list should focus on being. But we cannot just live in a world completely like this; it is the balance of “being” and “doing” that is healthiest, Zeising stresses.
Don’t waste your life on senseless thoughts, destructive emotions and endless meaningless tasks. Make every moment of your being enjoyable and live in the moment.
Luisa Tam is a correspondent at the Post


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Opinion


‘Being’ means you are existing in the most basic sense without focusing on distractions, and can bring about a deeper sense of happiness and inner calm
But in busy cities like Hong Kong, ‘doing’ is often more valued – and we can get caught up in focusing on the future rather than the present



‘Being’ means you are existing in the most basic sense without focusing on distractions, and can bring about a deeper sense of happiness. But in busy cities like Hong Kong, ‘doing’ is often more valued, leading to stressful lives.


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Expresses the views, ideas and conclusions of the author. (Eg. Enough of Crazy Rich Asians, think of crazy poor Hongkongers.)


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The Naked Truth