Carol Chan (not her real name) says her partner showed no signs of violence in the year leading up to their marriage in 2011. “Like any couple, we occasionally quarrelled, but he wasn’t physically violent and he didn’t show behaviour that raised flags,” says Chan, settling into a chair at the headquarters of the Hong Kong Federation of Women’s Centres, a charity based in Cheung Sha Wan, Kowloon, that supports women at the grass-roots and promotes gender equality. Born in Shanwei, in the southern Chinese province of Guangdong, Chan moved to Hong Kong to be with her husband, who was also born in mainland China and who worked in the city. The abuse started soon after the birth of their son. “He became aggressive, uncommunicative and disengaged, preferring to play games on his phone to playing with his son. He’d get angry if I spoke to him and got frustrated when he couldn’t express himself, so he would hit me,” says Chan, who lives with her son and is getting a divorce. “On one occasion he strangled me so tight I couldn’t breathe. I had bruises on my neck. He never once apologised.” Domestic violence affects all classes, races, and ages, and people of every social status, which is why the United Nations designates November 25 as International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women, to bring attention to the problem. The centre’s director, Si-si Liu Pui-shan, says that although most people think of domestic violence as physical assault resulting in visible injuries, it can also be sexual or psychological. “It can be a husband constantly scolding his wife, saying she has no value, demeaning her by calling her a useless woman, or isolating her and stopping her from meeting with friends,” she says. Sexual violence includes marital rape, a subject Liu says goes unreported in Hong Kong. “Marital rape is a taboo topic in Hong Kong, so there are few statistics. But it’s an area that needs more discussion.” Liu says Chan is brave for reporting her husband to the police – and leaving him; for cultural reasons many women stay in abusive relationships. “Some victims still think marriage is important, that it’s the final destination and divorce is the end of happiness,” she says. “They go to school, get married and have children, but if they deviate from that traditional path, if they get divorced, some think they are failed women. That’s a stereotype we try to deconstruct,” Liu says. “I’ve heard of cases where women have endured domestic violence for more than 10 years. They get abused, the partner apologises, and the victim thinks it won’t happen again … until it does. It’s a vicious cycle of violence,” Liu says. She believes many cases go unreported because victims fear the law will fail them. The Domestic and Cohabitation Relationships Violence Ordinance, enacted in Hong Kong in 1986, was strengthened following a tragic case in in 2004 in Tin Shui Wai, a deprived new town in the city’s New Territories. Liu says: “In this case a woman [31-year-old Kam Shuk-ying] reported alleged abuse to the police but nobody intervened. She told police that her husband threatened to kill her but they took no action – she returned home and was killed by her husband.” The man then stabbed and killed their twin six-year-old daughters before killing himself. Police later admitted that the woman visited Tin Shui Wai police station the day she was stabbed to death. Liu says the tragedy prompted cross-sector collaboration , with the police, social welfare departments, social workers and psychologists focusing their energy on how to better handle cases involving domestic violence. He’d get angry if I spoke to him and got frustrated when he couldn’t express himself, so he would hit me Carol Chan, domestic abuse survivor “Systems were put in place after that tragedy and laws changed to make it easier to apply for restraining orders. In in the past they only applied to married couples,” says Liu. Protections were extended to cover same-sex couples and cohabitant couples . Liu says that although the changes were long overdue, she is concerned there has been a breakdown in police procedures. “In the past couple of years I’ve heard of cases where police are not following procedure and protocol. They are not treating cases seriously, or failing to intervene,” she says. “In some cases police just tell couples to stop fighting or to sort it out. There have also been cases where police are blaming victims, warning them not to fight back when they are just trying to defend and protect themselves.” In the past five years the Hong Kong Federation of Women’s Centres has received 11,016 calls, the majority from housewives, of which 913 involved domestic violence. Between March 2016 and March 2017, it interviewed 39 women who were victims of domestic violence, of whom the vast majority had suffered bodily injury and more than half mental abuse. Most had suffered the abuse at the hands of their husbands. While women and girls are particularly vulnerable, men are also victims of domestic abuse. Hong Kong police statistics show that of 1,413 criminal cases involving family disputes in 2018, 339 involved a male victim – a 10 per cent increase from the previous year. Marginalised groups such as new arrivals from mainland China and members of ethnic minorities are particularly vulnerable to abuse. Feeling isolated and invisible, these victims often refrain from seeking help because of language barriers or fears over their immigration status. Chan says that since she was new to Hong Kong, she had no support network and was financially dependent on her partner. “But my priority was my son, and I had to remove him from the situation. Thankfully he was too young to understand.” Chan’s concerns are justified. Studies show that children exposed to domestic violence can experience post-traumatic stress disorder, changes to brain development, impaired social and emotional development, and behavioural issues. Stress related to witnessing domestic violence can also lead to health problems and substance abuse. The theme of this year’s International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women is “Orange the World: Generation Equality Stands Against Rape”. Figures for rape in Hong Kong are alarming. RainLily, a rape victims’ support centre, said it handled 4,199 cases and helped 572 victims between 2016 and 2018. Recently, officers of the Hong Kong Police Force have been accused by anti-government protesters of sexual misconduct. One young Hong Kong woman claimed she was raped by police officers in Tsuen Wan Police Station. Police said their investigations had not substantiated her allegation. I’ve heard of cases where women have endured domestic violence for more than 10 years. They get abused, the partner apologises, and the victim thinks it won’t happen again … until it does. It’s a vicious cycle of violence Si-si Liu Pui-shan, Hong Kong Federation of Women’s Centres director Her lawyers accused the police force of unprofessionalism and breach of privacy. “Unfortunately, the police investigating Ms X’s case appear to have systematically worked to discredit her and to undermine her complaint. Police have deliberately leaked supposed details of the case ...” Vidler & Co Solicitors said in a November 11 Facebook post. Hong Kong-based non-profit The Women’s Foundation says it is deeply concerned about her lawyers’ allegation. Foundation chief executive Fiona Nott says those who lodge complaints of sexual violence are entitled to have their allegations investigated “impartially, professionally and confidentially, irrespective of whom they are making the allegation against”. Nott says victims of sexual violence face a number of barriers when reporting allegations. “If a victim chooses not to make their allegations public, this right must be respected otherwise it undermines efforts to encourage future victims to come forward and make reports to the police.” Nott says public commentary further risks undermining what should be impartial and thorough investigations. “We must do all that we can to ensure that the safety, dignity and human rights of all residents – particularly women and girls – are fully respected.”