The Naked Truth | How foreplay can be the satisfying main course in your sex life, not just a routine appetiser

Any food connoisseur would tell you that to enjoy a meal, you should never shovel it down but eat it slowly to savour every delicious bite. And if it takes twice as long to finish, so be it, because it means double the enjoyment.

Most would agree that a great and satisfying meal should always comprise an appetiser, a main course, and a dessert; the same is true for sex.

Using this food analogy, foreplay in sex is as important as an appetiser in a meal in that they both serve to whet one’s appetite and tease the “taste buds”. Just as a well thought out three-course meal can satisfy one’s appetite, so can good foreplay and sex.

But more often than not, foreplay is neglected or even dismissed as a waste of time. A lot of people assume foreplay is a separate part of the sexual experience that we could do without. One reason is that sex is often driven by the singular goal of achieving an orgasm.

In fact, foreplay matters a lot, as it can help the body to become physically aroused so that sexual intercourse can happen seamlessly. Foreplay can forge and deepen a sexual connection, and it can be good enough in itself when done properly.

“For many, foreplay is the things they do before sex to warm up. It may involve kissing, fondling, caressing, maybe genital play that can help build closeness and emotional intimacy so that the mind is ready for more sexual interaction,” says Dr Kristin Zeising, a clinical psychologist and certified sex therapist.