The Naked Truth | Is there a ‘perfect’ relationship? No, so stop looking for one – it causes stress, depression and prevents you making real connections
- An expert offers advice on how to tell if you are a perfectionist and how to let go of these obsessive behaviours to become your ‘imperfect’ self
- Your perfectionist tendencies may be hindering opportunities to develop loving relationships and could be the source of sleeplessness, anxiety and depression
Most of us accept that no relationship is perfect and that, as human beings, we are all flawed. However, there are still some people out there who believe in finding “the perfect partner”.
While there is nothing wrong with being a stickler for perfection, it’s important to temper expectations.
When it comes to relationships, your pursuit of perfection may leave you unsatisfied. Instead of appreciating what is right in front of you or putting in the work to improve something, your perfectionist tendencies may be hindering opportunities to develop genuine, loving relationships.
Perfectionists often don’t recognise they have a problem, says Dr Quratulain Zaidi, a Hong Kong-based clinical psychologist.
“In over a decade of clinical work, I don’t recall a single client arriving at their first session asking for help to overcome perfectionism. This is because most perfectionists don’t recognise that their pathological need for excellence can be damaging. It may also be the source of sleepless nights, chronic stress, anxiety, depression, or all of the above,” she says.