Why perfectionism causes depression and how self-compassion could save your life
An Australian study uncovers the dangerous health consequences of being self-critical for not meeting your own high performance standards. But there are ways to turn that negative inner dialogue into a positive one
People who consider themselves perfectionists are usually hard on themselves when things don’t go their way. Think of the straight-A student who gets a B on an exam and chides themselves for being a “failure”; the weight-conscious woman who starves herself when she realises that she has put on a couple of pounds; or an employee who thinks even a minor mistake at work will lead to catastrophe.
According to Jackie Chan, a psychologist at the Hong Kong Psychological Counselling Centre, perfectionism is an attitude or belief that there should be absolutely no flaws in one’s performance. Perfectionists set high – sometimes unrealistic – standards for themselves, and consider themselves failures when they cannot or do not meet those standards.
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The quest for perfection starts early in many people, especially when they have parents or other authority figures such as teachers who establish perfection as the desired standard. Any mistakes they make are usually met with criticism, name-calling, shaming, or even physical punishment. They grow up eager to please and receive praise from these adults, believing that their self-worth is tied to their achievements. The media, wider society and cultural beliefs can also contribute to the desire to be “perfect”.
Perfectionism is also characterised by overly critical self-evaluations and worry about others’ judgments and criticisms. While there is nothing wrong with setting or pursuing high standards, being meticulous, or wanting things to pan out a certain way, it is important to know that perfectionism is associated with a host of negative, even dangerous, consequences. These include self-harm, chronic fatigue syndrome, obsessive-compulsive disorder, insomnia, post-traumatic stress disorder, social anxiety disorder, anxiety and depression.
The link between perfectionism and depression was the focus of a recent study by the Australian Catholic University. The study, which was published in February in the journal PLOS One, found that self-compassion, or the practice of self-kindness, can weaken the established link between perfectionism and depression.