Postnatal depression: its causes, symptoms and consequences, and how to overcome it
Doctors still don’t know why around one in 20 women suffer depression after giving birth – a condition that can scar her relationship with the child into adulthood, according to a study – but there are remedies, including self-care
Lisa Wong (not her real name) should have been over the moon when she gave birth to her first child 10 years ago. Instead, the now-42-year-old was overcome with anxiety at the thought of being a mother and regretted even going through with the pregnancy.
“It should’ve been a joyous moment but it actually felt like the worst day of my life,” Wong shares. “I suddenly felt helpless and inadequate. Over the next few weeks I grew increasingly anxious and depressed. And that mother-child bond that new mums always talk about? I didn’t experience it. When my baby arrived, he felt like a stranger to me.”
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Wong, who describes herself as highly strung, assumed that the connection between her and her son would form in the weeks after he was born, but it didn’t – and that made her feel guilty and ashamed. She cried a lot, mostly in secret because she didn’t want her husband to know that she was falling apart emotionally. Physically, she felt “broken and run-down”.
“My husband and I were expats living in Hong Kong at the time,” says Wong, who is originally from Singapore and is now based in Jakarta. “He worked a lot so I was home with our son most of the time and felt like I had no support.
“At the same time, I didn’t want to worry my husband so I kept my feelings to myself. I didn’t tell my parents what I was going through, either, because I was afraid that they would think I was an unfit mother.”
Wong suffered from what’s commonly known as postnatal depression – a depression in women that occurs after childbirth. According to Dr Jackie Chan, a psychologist at Hong Kong Psychological Counselling Centre, it’s hard to say what causes the condition, although it’s believed that genetics plays a role.