How hardiness helped this Malaysian weather a multitude of blows – cancer being the latest
- Emily Tan has stayed strong through all that life has thrown her. She exhibits what doctors call psychological hardiness – something that’s in us all
- I chose to take charge of my emotions, says 33-year-old
Emily Tan has experienced a lot in her 33 years. At 13, after moving to the United States, she endured discrimination because of her ethnicity; at 15 she had an abortion (the pregnancy was the result of a rape) and later attempted suicide; at 23 her business went under; and she’s been divorced twice – once at 29 and the second time at 32.
In April this year, Tan was dealt another blow – she was diagnosed with acute myeloid leukaemia, a cancer of the blood and bone marrow.
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Yet the former training and business development manager has stayed strong through it all.
“After my diagnosis, I realised that feeling sad, scared and angry wasn’t helping my situation, so I chose to take charge of [my] emotions – after all, our emotions are what govern our thoughts,” says Tan, who was born in Malaysia and now lives in Hong Kong.
“I worked to get to the bottom of certain emotions to find out what was triggering them. I also told myself that I could allow the negativity to engulf me or I could try to understand what I was feeling, find solutions to feel better and move forward. I’ve definitely noticed a positive shift in perspective, which has helped me cope with what I’m going through.”
Tan exhibits what mental health professionals call “psychological hardiness”. People who are psychologically hardy possess attributes that help them bounce back from crises faster than others.