Caregivers risk depression and burnout looking after a loved one – how to practise self-care and when to seek help

When his daughter needed home care, Singaporean Gabriel Chan didn’t know what to do and felt ‘confused, anxious and frustrated’, as many carers do

Amid the pandemic, carers are missing their support network, adding to the risk of burnout. They need to set boundaries and practise self-care, therapists say

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The Chan family in Singapore, including Kristyn and her father Gabriel (both holding dogs). He and his wife (centre) helped Kristyn cope with the effects of ADHD and, like many carers, felt confused, anxious and frustrated. Photo: courtesy of Gabriel Chan

Published: 7:15pm, 29 Dec 2020Updated: 8:11pm, 29 Dec 2020

Gabriel Chan’s life changed three years ago, when his teenage daughter Kristyn went from outgoing and chatty to sad and withdrawn.

Then 15 years old, she began to struggle with the pressures of school and low self-image. She was later found to have attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), which affected her self-confidence and made it hard for her to focus on her studies. The fact that she constantly compared herself to her three siblings, all high achievers, only complicated the situation.

Concerned for her well-being, Chan went into semi-retirement in 2019, using the time to bond with his youngest daughter. His wife, too, stayed by Kristyn’s side during difficult moments to offer care and reassurance.

Kristyn was studying in Australia earlier this year when the Covid-19 pandemic hit. Returning to her family home in Singapore, she found it difficult to cope with the social isolation and disruption caused by harsh stay-at-home restrictions. In early April, she nearly died after taking a cocktail of medications.

Many people are finding it difficult to cope during the Covid-19 pandemic. Photo: Getty Images

“We almost lost her, which hurt a lot,” says Chan. While his daughter was in hospital, she saw a psychiatrist and a psychologist.