Facing late stage cancer, he found hope and positivity with the right emotional support – how to comfort and reassure someone with a terminal illness

People with a terminal illness experience a range of emotions, from fear and anxiety to sadness, regret and guilt. People like Hong Kong retiree Lam Po-wing

Spending time with them, helping them manage their financial affairs and fulfilling their wishes can help make their last days happier and more meaningful

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Terminally ill people like Lam Po-wing (left) have to bear heavy emotions. Solid support, like from Lam’s wife Hui Ching-ching, can help them feel more hopeful, positive and less alone. Photo: K.Y. Cheng

Published: 4:15am, 9 Nov 2021Updated: 5:43am, 9 Nov 2021

In January 2019, retired teacher Lam Po-wing received frightening and devastating news: a diagnosis of Stage 3 colon cancer.

“I was told that the disease was advanced,” shares the 63-year-old Hong Kong father of two. “At the time I thought, this can’t be happening. I thought I was healthy – I rarely took sick leave when I was working – and yet there I was, hearing that I had an aggressive cancer and needed urgent treatment.

“I didn’t know what to do, think or say at the time. My doctor didn’t tell me how much time I had left to live; all he said was that my treatment would be long-term and that we’d have to monitor my health very closely.

“I didn’t know anyone with cancer and had no clue what treatment even entailed. I cried as my wife of 38 years, Hui Ching-ching, comforted me. We are a close, loving couple and I worried about what might happen to her and our daughters if I left them suddenly. Who would be around for them?”

Lam received his first cancer diagnosis in January 2019. Photo: K.Y. Cheng

Denial is often the first response to a terminal diagnosis, and Lam found it difficult to think about how the following weeks or months would unfold. Stressed and depressed, he turned to Maggie’s Cancer Caring Centre at Tuen Mun Hospital in the west of the city’s New Territories. There, specialists helped him face his diagnosis and understand and manage the difficult feelings that came with it.