Major life changes such as leaving Hong Kong will always make us anxious, experts say, but we will feel energised afterwards
- ‘I’ve been feeling super stressed,’ says a woman weighing up whether to leave Hong Kong. Anxiety is normal but don’t be paralysed by fear, a psychologist says
- The build-up is often worse than the change itself, she adds. Journalist Lucy Kellaway, who quit her job and marriage, agrees – change is energising, she says
For the past three months, Sarah and her husband have been grappling with a big question – whether to stay in Hong Kong or leave.
“It’s all we ever seem to talk about – at home and with our friends. I don’t know what the right answer is, and this indecision is killing me. I’m not usually an anxious person, but I’ve been feeling super stressed over this,” says Sarah (not her real name).
There is no doubt that change – or the prospect of it – is in the air. A recent wave of emigration saw nearly 90,000 residents leave Hong Kong following the imposition of the national security law in 2020, and a survey in October by the Chinese University of Hong Kong found that 42 per cent of Hongkongers want to emigrate.
For clinical psychologist Dr Sharmeen Shroff, whose clients are mostly expats, the “should we stay or go” question comes up in most of her sessions. She says change generates fear and anxiety because the outcome is unknown.
“As humans, we are hard-wired to hate uncertainty, we want to be in control. There are few people who don’t feel anxious at the prospect of major upheaval. The problem comes when the fear of change keeps you paralysed in situations which aren’t fulfilling,” she says.
We don’t want to move out of our comfort zone, so we repeat the same patterns over and over until that really doesn’t work for us any more.