Why we all need some self-love: how a cancer diagnosis pushed a people pleaser to put her own needs first

Tata Tse learned that loving herself is not narcissistic, it is more to do with caring about her own well-being and having a positive mindset

Practise self-love daily by accepting yourself, having self-compassion, creating boundaries and letting go of limiting beliefs, an expert says

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A cancer diagnosis led Tata Tse on a two-year journey of self-discovery, learning to love herself. She practises “sound bathing” daily using a gong whose vibrations are said to reduce stress and anxiety. Photo: Jonathan Wong

Published: 5:45pm, 12 Feb 2022Updated: 9:49am, 13 Feb 2022

Tata Tse’s journey to self-love began two years ago, at the age of 32.

Diagnosed with thyroid and lymph node cancer, she felt emotionally “stuck”. She signed on to a hypnotherapy course in Sheung Wan in Hong Kong, where she learned to work through self-sabotaging thoughts, improve her relationship with herself – and cultivate a more positive mindset.

“For years I’d struggled with accepting and loving myself, and I had all these toxic emotions that I needed to process and release,” says the now-34-year-old, who was born and raised in Hong Kong.

“I wanted to thrive emotionally, and that meant letting go of limiting beliefs and behaviours that no longer served me. I needed to move forward and stop seeing myself as a victim.”

As a student at an all-girls’ school in the 1990s, Tse’s classmates bullied her and she felt she was not as good as them. An introvert, she didn’t have many friends and felt invisible and unimportant.

Desperate to be liked and accepted, she became a people pleaser who couldn’t say no to others.

Tata Tse in Shek Tong Tsui, Hong Kong. Photo: Jonathan Wong