8 myths about depression busted, how one woman overcame stigma about the disorder, and ways to help a loved one recover

After a romantic partner whom she trusted and depended on betrayed her, Kim Chan was diagnosed with depression. The 33-year-old teacher, who lives in Hong Kong, says the symptoms hit her “quickly and severely”. “I experienced panic attacks, was unable to eat or sleep, felt anxious all the time and couldn’t be alone at home. My body felt so weak I could barely stand or walk and I didn’t want to live any more.” When she realised how much her emotions were affecting her life, Chan (not her real name) sought mental health counselling. Three years on, she is recovering. But she is tired of being discriminated against because of her depression. “I was dating a new partner and his friend found out about my depression. He warned my partner against marrying me, saying that if we had children together, they’d turn out ‘crazy’,” she says. “Depressed people are perceived as mentally weak or lazy, and are often made to feel like their illness is their fault. Cognitive behavioural therapy, a deceptively simple mental health tool “There’s even a stigma attached to seeing a therapist for mental health support. And many people with depression don’t like to discuss their condition because they worry that it might affect their career or relationships. “I only shared my diagnosis with a few people whom I trusted, but sometimes my openness was met with unhelpful or dismissive statements like, ‘What have you got to be depressed about? Your life is good, you should be thankful you’re not in a war zone or living in poverty.’ “It would be nice if society understood that depression is like any physical injury or sickness and showed empathy and compassion towards people like me.” Depression is not simply a temporary feeling of sadness that one can easily overcome Dr Adrian Low, a Hong Kong-based psychologist Chan split from her most recent partner. She still sees a therapist from time to time and looks to her closest family members and friends for emotional support. Reading about mental health and exercising regularly relieved her depressive symptoms, too. “I’m hopeful about the future – as long as I stay physically active, keep my distance from toxic people, lean on my loved ones and treat myself well, I know I will be OK,” she says. Edge of reality: Hongkongers get glimpse of life with mental illness at new museum While awareness of mental health has grown in recent years, the stigma associated with conditions like depression persists. This is because many people don’t understand what depression is and how it affects those who live with it. “Depression involves a combination of genetic, biological, psychological and environmental factors, and when there’s a lack of education about such a complex condition, it’s easy for misinformation to take root,” says Hong Kong-based psychologist Dr Adrian Low. The stigma arises from this misinformation and ignorance, he adds, as well as from certain prejudices that some people have towards those with mental health issues. According to the World Health Organization, one in eight people in the world lives with a mental disorder that involves significant disturbances in thinking, emotional regulation, or behaviour. Depression, one of the most common mental disorders, affects more than 280 million people worldwide, including about 5 per cent of all adults. On World Mental Health Day, October 10, we dispel eight of the biggest misconceptions about the condition. 1. Depression is not a ‘real’ illness Depression is indeed a real illness, Low says, recognised by mental health professionals and medical organisations worldwide. While it primarily affects an individual’s mental and emotional well-being, it can also have significant effects on their physical health. Not just a regular mood fluctuation, a depressive episode is defined as lasting most of the day, nearly every day for at least two weeks. ‘Listen to your inner silent scream’: Hong Kong mental health recovery stories “Depression has been associated with an increased risk of various physical health problems such as cardiovascular disease, compromised immune system functioning, sleep disturbances and chronic pain,” Low says. “It’s important to recognise and address depression as a legitimate and potentially serious health condition,” he adds. 2. You can ‘snap out of’ a depressive episode It’s commonly believed that people who are depressed make the choice to feel that way, and that if they choose to be depressed then they can choose to stop being depressed, too. But you can’t just snap out of a depressive spell, Low says. “Depression is not simply a temporary feeling of sadness that one can easily overcome. It’s a mental health disorder characterised by persistent feelings of sadness, hopelessness, a loss of interest in activities, and sometimes, suicidal thoughts. “It involves biological changes in the brain, including neurotransmitter imbalances. Treatment for depression often requires a combination of therapy, medication and lifestyle changes to address these underlying factors.” 3. Depression only affects certain types of people The illness doesn’t discriminate and can affect anyone, regardless of age, gender, education, income, socioeconomic status, relationship status, race or culture. New free service to help Hong Kong domestic helpers with their mental health “Even people who seemingly have fulfilling lives can experience depression because of internal or external stressors, genetic predispositions or chemical imbalances in the brain,” Low says. 4. Depression is a sign of weakness People with depression aren’t weak and being depressed isn’t a character flaw. This mental health condition can affect even the strongest and most resilient. “It’s important to approach depression with compassion and understanding, recognising it as a legitimate illness that requires support and treatment,” Low says. 5. Depression is passed from parent to child “Research suggests that there’s a higher risk of developing depression if one or both parents have a history of the condition,” Low says, but having a family history of depression doesn’t guarantee that you’ll develop it. “Genetic factors may contribute to one’s vulnerability to depression, but environmental factors, life experiences and individual coping mechanisms also play significant roles. “If you have a family history of depression, it’s important to be mindful of potential risk factors, to prioritise self-care and to seek professional support if needed.” 6. Depression is untreatable There are effective treatments for depression, including psychotherapy, medication or a combination of both, Low says. Not all treatments work the same for everyone. It may take time to find the right treatment approach or combination of strategies that works for you. Getting help from a qualified mental health provider is crucial in developing an effective treatment plan. 7. Talking about your depression will only make it worse Discussing difficult feelings can be an important part of the healing process. Low says that while this may feel uncomfortable at first, opening up to trusted individuals such as therapists, fellow support group members and loved ones can provide a sense of relief, validation and support. “It can help reduce feelings of isolation, promote self-reflection and facilitate the development of coping strategies,” he says. “It’s important to seek professional guidance to determine the most appropriate approach to discussing and addressing depression.” 8. The best help for someone with depression is to cheer them up This may not be the most effective approach, says Low, because depression is a serious condition that often requires professional intervention. Instead of trying to cheer them up, provide empathy, support and understanding. How you can really help a depressed loved one Listen actively: allow them to express their thoughts and feelings without judgment. Practise active listening, which involves giving them your complete attention, reflecting back what they’ve shared, and showing genuine interest in their experiences. Validate their feelings and experiences: let them know that you understand that they’re going through a challenging time. Helping others improves our mental, physical, emotional health. Why is that? Offer practical support: ask how you can help and offer specific assistance. This might include helping with daily tasks, accompanying them to counselling appointments or researching treatment options. Encourage professional help: suggest that they seek support from a therapist or counsellor. Offer to help them find appropriate resources. Be patient and understanding: recovery from depression takes time. Avoid pressuring them or expecting immediate improvements. Show patience, consistent support and reassurance as they work on their recovery. Like what you read? Follow SCMP Lifestyle on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram. 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