How to help a loved one with an eating disorder: be with them, reassure them, and avoid temptation to problem solve, says author who overcame anorexia nervosa

Mental health advocate Stephanie Ng shares her experience of anorexia nervosa in a book she hopes will educate and empower others to speak up and get help

‘I wish people knew how painful the inner battle is,’ says Ng, who credits her mother for seeking out capable therapists for her – and knowing when to step back

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Hong Kong-based mental health advocate Stephanie Ng reflects on her experience with eating disorder anorexia nervosa, her recovery – helped by the support of her family – and the pressure of diet culture. Photo: Stephanie Ng

Published: 7:15am, 9 Mar 2024Updated: 7:15am, 9 Mar 2024

Stephanie Ng’s Facebook memories recently turned up a blast from the past that reminded her of just how far she has come in her relationship with her body.

The photograph of herself as a teenager, grinning and holding a bottle of slimming cream, was captioned, “I’m stoked I’m getting this for my birthday”.

“I remember holding that bottle of slimming cream and having the sense that growing up meant I had to change how I looked,” said Ng, founder of Body Banter, a charity that aims to empower young people to start conversations about body image and mental health.

Her relationship with food and her body began to change in her early teens. At the age of 16, she was diagnosed with anorexia nervosa – when individuals severely limit how much they eat or drink.

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Why we need to talk about eating disorders and body image in Hong Kong

The eating disorder that would take control of her life crept up on her slowly. It was not in response to a single big trauma, but rather a means of coping with what was going on internally, adjusting to changing hormones and friendships.

“Disordered eating and exercise were a very safe place to be at the time. I could control something. I could see the weight going down, it was something concrete that showed me I was in control of something,” says Ng, who is a research fellow with the mental health charity Mind HK and completing her PhD at the University of Hong Kong.