I frequently go to my favourite Mexican restaurant for a nice bean burrito but I’ve noticed that, afterwards, my flatulence makes a statement and, unfortunately, a smell. My friends have noticed as well. I have heard there are underpants that mitigate olfactory offence. Can you help?
Mr Dandy: Oh my God, that’s hilarious! What guy wouldn’t love something that lets him fire away without anyone noticing? What are your friends – crazy? There’s no way I’d give up the awesomeness of a good burrito, farts or no farts. Check out Shreddies (www.myshreddies.com) “flatulence filtering” underwear from Britain. They’re made with a carbon back panel of Zorflex, which is said to absorb and neutralise all smells. Get the white or black hipsters (HK$300 each) or support boxers (HK$350 each). Or try Under- Ease by Under-Tec (www.undertec.com). The Under-Ease 2G (HK$236.50 each) is made with a laminated polyester called Fabuthane and a replaceable charcoal filter. I don’t know about you, but I already know a few people who will be getting Shreddies for Christmas!
I’m not a formal guy, so having to wear formal clothes is always a bit of a struggle. Unfortunately, I’m signed up for quite a few black-tie events. I have a perfectly good tux, etc, but wonder if I could get away with something a little different on my feet?
Mr Dandy: Totally! People think of Jimmy Choo as a women’s brand, but it makes incredible shoes for guys, too. They’re sold in Hong Kong only at its boutiques in IFC Mall (Central, tel: 2234 7810) and Elements (1 Austin Road West, Kowloon, tel: 2196 8966). I’m digging the dressed-up Sloane slipper loafers in everything from black glitter (HK$6,450) to printed suede or pony hair (HK$6,750 and up) to a pair with star-shaped studs (HK$9,450). Christian Louboutin does the Officier slipper in black patent and flannel with gold and green embellishments (HK$8,300; 10 Wyndham Street, Central, tel: 2530 2198); the black patent Watson with witty red moustache across the top (HK$7,800); and the spike-studded velvet Rollerboy (HK$12,600), in black or red. There’s also Giuseppe Zanotti’s Kevin slip-ons in wild zebra-print pony hair with tassels (HK$8,675; IFC Mall, tel: 2805 0890) or black rhinestone-covered ones with gold-tone toe caps (HK$14,360).
Mr Dapper: Please don’t. Slip-ons based on the traditional opera pumps are absolutely correct. I’m afraid outrageous overembellishment is beyond inappropriate. Formal black oxfords are also perfectly acceptable. I recommend a beautifully crafted classic pair by the likes of JM Weston, Church’s or one of the fine brands at Tassels.
