The Dictator hunts for toad bags and Taylor Swift's white shirt

Please tell me you mean tote bag, not toad purse. Alas, I fear you do refer to those grisly bags fashioned from dead amphibians (HK$170; www.toadshop.com). I comprehend the destruction wrought by the Australian cane toad, but I want to wear this menace as much as I desire a dress made of cockroaches. Which Kate Spade item did you see, anyway? And by "purse" do you mean a receptacle for coins or a handbag? She has a few this season, including the small leather Wedding Belles Frog coin purse (HK$700). Judging by your predilection for vintage, however, I assume it was the Spring Forward Wicker Frog bag (HK$3,600) that caught your eye. Made from natural wicker with green calfskin handles and leaf-print cotton lining, it certainly makes a statement, especially at 9.4 inches high. The design was inspired by wicker bags of the 1950s and 60s, many of which came in animal shapes. A few are available online via auction websites and vintage retailers. Of course, authenticity is hard to verify on a computer. On eBay, we found a "1950s Wicker Frog Handbag - Rare & Collectible" in brown/black (HK$2,291). Etsy.com has one with bright green eyes, also from the 50s (HK$3,560). It appears wicker frogs don't come cheap.

Sure, you don't like Taylor Swift. "The lady doth protest too much, methinks." No, that's not a quote from one of her songs, people, it's Shakespeare. Duh. I'd come closer to respecting you if you'd admit that you are a fan. Swift, by the way, is the ripe old age of 25, well beyond a teenager. A fan, however, would know not only that, but also where to find credits for everything she wears, as bloggers write about her every outfit. The shirt you saw is called the Flitter Flutter (HK$645) and is by British brand Miss Patina (www.misspatina.com). It is made from 100 per cent polyester and has embroidered eyelashes on the two front pockets as well as all white buttons except for the fifth one down, which is black, creating the effect of a tiny nose. There are lots of other fab items out there with winks, eyes and eyelashes. Milly makes a cute Wink intarsia jumper, with one eye open and the other closed with thick black lashes (HK$2,089; neimanmarcus.com). Wildfox Couture does a similar Wink sweatshirt with two eyes and red lips (HK$660; saksoff5th.com). Alternatively, you could simply take an indelible pen to an old white shirt and add your own wink.