The case against Christmas presents – we need to create a culture that gives less, but better
With so much waste clogging up the planet, it’s time we tried a new approach altogether
What is the worst Christmas gift you’ve received? The wine holder in the shape of a sparkly pink Birkin has got to be in the top 10.
When I was single, I received a “Tea Set for One” decorated with pictures of cats. There was the dancing Santa Claus from a distant relative as a wedding present – in June.
Etiquette tells us to gratefully accept whatever we are given. Times have changed, though. The world is choking on all the stuff we buy, especially during the holidays. We need new rules.
Is it ever OK to say you don’t like a gift? It should be. I’d be straight with my mother. I’m working my way up to diplomatically rebuffing unwanted gifts from friends. I don’t need more stuff.
I’m working my way up to diplomatically rebuffing unwanted gifts from friends. I don’t need more stuff.
It took me years to muster the courage to return a gift from my husband if I didn’t love it. I so appreciated the effort he’d made, I didn’t want to hurt his feelings. But the wastefulness of expensive gifts sitting unused forced me to be honest. In the end, he did not take offence, and I’d like to think we’re both better gift-givers for it.
In the United States, returning gifts seems to have become a part of the tradition. According to the National Retail Federation, between 11 and 13 per cent of holiday purchases are returned, adding up to tens of billions of US dollars every year.
Clothing constitutes the highest percentage, at about 60 per cent of those returns, mostly because of sizing errors.
The statistics don’t show how many givers were informed. Should they be? I would want their permission because they bought it for me. Others might argue it’s the recipient’s to do with what he or she likes.
Returns in Hong Kong are complicated by strict policies and the dearth of gift receipts. You can’t do a sneaky exchange because you have to ask for the receipt. When that awkward conversation arises, I find it best to emphasise usefulness over personal taste. “I just love the glittery Birkin wine holder, but I don’t drink wine any more!”
Customers returning in-store could generate new or future sales, but retailers bear multiple other costs, including free returns by post, after which staff must be paid to assess the condition of each item.
Only about half of returns are deemed worthy to be put back into the supply chain. The rest are kicked down to resellers. What doesn’t get sold is simply thrown away. That’s a lot of perfectly usable products dumped in landfills.
Suddenly, re-gifting is looking admirable. You’re not being cheap, you’re saving the planet! I admit it, I’ve re-gifted many times. Isn’t that what everyone’s pressie drawers are full of? Of course, I’ve been too ashamed to admit it 99 per cent of the time.
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Gift giving is, in fact, incredibly inefficient. Humbug! The 1993 paper by Joel Waldfogel, “The Deadweight Loss of Christmas”, has been quoted hundreds of times by people trying to make the case against gift giving. You waste time and money trying to divine what another person might want, and only occasionally hit a home run.
As a result, the unappreciated gift is perceived to be of lower value than the price paid. There is a deadweight loss. Cash, Waldfogel argued, would be the best gift.
However, rational arguments ignore the emotional nature of gift-giving.
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Who doesn’t love the excitement of unwrapping a gift? A carefully considered and wrapped gift shows you care. I’m here for your companionship, not your cash, and if I really want something, I’ll buy it myself, thank you very much. To measure love misses the point. To monetise it is abhorrent.
This Christmas, I’d like to put gift-giving back in its box. Who’s with me? Write to Santa requesting one to three things you want and would use. Give and ask for receipts. Finally, be honest. Help to create a culture that gives less, but better.
