Explainer / How do you speak to Queen Elizabeth and other British royals? The guide to royal etiquette according to Prince Charles’ ex-butler Grant Harrold

May 30 , 2021

How do you get Queen Elizabeth’s attention in a crowd? Try being a kid, or bringing a corgi with you. Photo: WPA

Fans of The Crown may have picked up some tips on how to talk like a British royal. But if you really want to chat to Queen Elizabeth, Prince William or Kate Middleton, then there is also certain royal etiquette to observe.

So how does one properly address a royal, and how would you attract the queen’s attention? This is what Prince Charles’ ex-butler Grant Harrold had to say on the subject.

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Prince William, Kate Middleton, Queen Elizabeth and other members of the royal family stand on the balcony of Buckingham Palace to watch a fly-past of aircraft by the royal Air Force in London in June 2019. Photo: AFP

The queen is known for her walkabouts when visiting towns and cities throughout the UK. But have you ever wondered how to stand out in the crowd and attract her attention? Harrold once told Business Insider that if you shout “your majesty”, she will probably pretend not to hear you, but if you hold up a picture of a corgi or, even better, bring your own corgi, she is likely to stop by for a chat.

In this official photograph released by Buckingham Palace to mark the queen’s 90th birthday in 2016, Queen Elizabeth walks in the private grounds of Windsor Castle, in England, with four of her dogs. Photo: AP

If you are presented to the queen at an official engagement, you need to first address her as “your majesty”, then “ma’am” for subsequent responses, according to official guidelines. Never call her “your royal highness” – that title is reserved for the other senior royals.

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Britain’s Queen Elizabeth uses the sword that belonged to her father, George VI, as she confers the Honour of Knighthood on 100-year-old World War Two veteran Captain Tom Moore at Windsor Castle in Windsor, west of London, in July 2020. Photo: AFP

Never initiate conversation with a royal – it just is not done! They will initiate the conversation, Harrold told Business Insider, as they have a hectic schedule and need to stay in control of the conversation. However, royals will always make time for children. “I have never seen a member of the royal family ignore a child who calls out to them,” said Harrold.

Britain’s Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh, stands next to a cartoon of his wife Queen Elizabeth drawn by Trogg for the Golden Jubilee at the Cartoon Art Trust’s Kings and Queens exhibition at the Mall Galleries, London, of which he is a patron, in December 2002. Photo: AFP

And if you ask a question a royal does not want to answer, you will never hear “no comment” or “I can’t answer that”. Rather, they will pretend they didn’t hear you or, like Prince Philip often did, make a joke of it, Harrold told Business Insider.

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When meeting a member of the royal family at one of their famous garden parties, you do not have to explain who you are to them, as they have already been briefed. It is not a coincidence they are talking to you, as you have been selected for that very reason.

Britain’s Prince Charles, Prince of Wales, speaks with Britain’s former Prime Minister Theresa May during The Commonwealth Heads of Government Meeting (CHOGM), at Buckingham Palace in London in April 2018. Photo: AFP Photo

And the biggest no-no, when talking to a royal? Never ask personal questions or discuss sex, religion, politics or money. In royal society, small talk is usually about the weather and travel.

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Royalty

Fans of Netflix’s The Crown might have picked up some tips, but chatting to the queen, Prince William or Kate Middleton requires strict etiquette
Never call the queen ‘your royal highness’, and shouting ‘your majesty’ in a crowd won’t get her attention either – try waving a picture of a corgi instead!