The fun and games are on hold for now, but the ‘hot and noisy’ times will soon return to our city
- Wedding games are an iconic part of life in Hong Kong, even if they can be downright dangerous
- From alcohol poisoning to demeaning the groom, the good spirits can sometimes go too far
The suspension of social gatherings in Hong Kong because of the coronavirus has put the brakes on many activities, including celebrations of all kinds.
Last month, an infant whose parents had attended a banquet tested positive for the virus, but what was shocking was the 20-month-old had not even attended the event.
The Chinese believe that 2020 is a double-spring leap year, making it an auspicious year for those who intend to get married.
Needless to say, many couples had planned to reap the benefits of this, but the unexpected chaos from the pandemic has forced many to postpone their nuptials.
Locals love to create yit naau or a “hot and noisy” atmosphere at any social gathering, especially celebrations such as weddings and birthday parties. When a place is yit naau, not only is it busy with people having fun, it also implies that the occasion is generating positive energy and all-round good vibes.
I enjoy attending weddings because they are such joyful and happy occasions when you are in the company of friends, and sometimes relatives, you haven’t seen for a while.
There are also the occasional wedding games to engage the guests, warm-up the atmosphere, and provide a fun way for the guests to learn more about the newlyweds and their love journey.
Most of these games are relatively tame, but some local ones have the elements of an overly boisterous fraternity house.
These games are intended to create some good-spirited fun at a wedding, but can occasionally go a little too far.
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Some games might be entertaining to watch, but to participants they might border on abusive, demeaning, and sometimes even fatal.
Most wedding games include making the bridesmaids drink strong alcohol, or copious amounts of alcoholic drinks on behalf of the bride.
Meanwhile, the groomsmen are made to perform demeaning stunts that are ripe with sexual innuendos.
Some couples are so concerned about the hazardous nature of these games they will go as far as to forbid wedding games. Some will hire professionals to stand in as bridesmaids and groomsmen to spare their friends from any unwarranted upset.
Despite the infamy of these games, they still continue unabated. Therefore, serious injury – and sometimes even accidental death – will occasionally be reported at a wedding.
There was a case in Guangdong in 2018 when a bridesmaid was forced to drink in place of the bride and later died of alcohol poisoning.
It is customary for newlyweds to toast every guest at Chinese banquets to show their appreciation. But to avoid drinking copious amounts of alcohol, they will nominate their bridesmaids or groomsmen to stand in for them, should the toasting become excessive.
Unfortunately, this was not the first fatal case of its kind and it certainly won’t be the last.
Not all wedding games are dangerous though, there are plenty that involve harmless fun and can be enjoyed by both participants and observers.
One of the Hong Kong wedding rituals I love most are the wedding door games, known as waan san long in Cantonese. These are “obstacles” that are set up for the groom to prove his love to the bride.
Wedding door games feature prominently in Chinese weddings across the world, and although there are commonalities between Chinese wedding door games throughout Chinese diasporas, each community will have their own version.
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The first door game typically involves the groom bribing his way in by paying the army of “sisters” some lucky money to gain entrance and claim his future wife. The sum requested represents an auspicious beginning to the marriage, so it always comprises a series of “8”, which means fortune or “9” for eternity in Cantonese.
I was once a bridesmaid within a group of eight women, and this first hurdle of door games earned us a red packet – known as lai see – containing HK$9,999.
Another fun and lighthearted game is “The Four Flavours of Life”, known as tim syun fu laat in Cantonese. This literally translates as “sweet, sour, bitter, and spicy” in English – or “The Joys and Sorrows of Life” in the more idiomatic sense. These flavours symbolise the joys and sorrows that a married couple will experience together.
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This game involves challenging the groom to drink four concentrated concoctions of these four flavours, so condiments and items such as vinegar, Tabasco, Chinese medicinal soups, and syrups are often used.
Things may be tough at the moment, but all we can do is wait out the storm together and look forward to a better tomorrow.
Once the dust settles, let us look forward to the hustle and bustle returning to our city, whether it’s at your local cha chaan teng, mahjong parlour, or the countless wedding banquets that we are likely to be attending.
Luisa Tam is a Post correspondent who also hosts Cantonese-language video tutorials that are now part of Cathay Pacific’s in-flight entertainment programme
