The unconventional lifestyle has become a form of self-love.

For example, followers of tou gan might leave their job early to resist the widespread cultural norm of working overtime. They might also order fatty takeout food in rebellion against a disciplined lifestyle of healthy eating.

Kitty, not her real name, a woman from Guangdong province in southeastern China who practises “emotional theft”, never tells her parents how much she earns, which would be considered rude in many Chinese families.

After six years of working, whenever her mother asks about her salary, she always says it is 13,000 yuan (US$1,800).

“The number is made up, but it is tethered to reality. I would never tell her the exact amount,” she said.

Kitty does not want her mother to know about her monthly spending because her mother prioritises frugality, so she may face criticisms for any expenditure her mother believes is overly indulgent.

According to her mother’s calculations, Kitty’s savings should be enough to buy a car and a house in the future.

“But I hardly have any savings. So “derailing” what I tell my mother is literally a lifesaver,” she said.

Secret corners

Many practitioners seek small spaces, sometimes literally, where they have complete control over their lives.

A woman, surnamed Chang, from Shenzhen in Guangdong province, decided to start living in separate rooms from her boyfriend this year.

It is generally assumed that couples living together should share a bed.

“I wanted to ‘steal’ some personal time from our daily routine of living as a couple,” said Chang.

The privacy and independence of separate rooms gave her an “unprecedented sense of freedom”.

Happiness

By subtly disrupting the social order, “emotional thieves” are finding moments of joy in the more mundane parts of life.

One anonymous person admitted to secretly crushing instant noodles at the supermarket. “I’m sorry, but I’ve always wanted to do this, it’s such a stress reliever,” the person wrote on Weibo.

Another confessed to sneaking off to the restroom to sleep during working hours: “I’ve never been late or left early, but today I was just too tired.”

A 24-year-old student, surnamed Wang, from central China’s Henan province, has a secret tattoo on his left arm in memory of his grandfather, who passed away in February.

Under Chinese law, people with visible tattoos are unable to sit medical examinations required for civil service exams in some state institutions.

“My feeling of suffocation would be too strong if I did not occasionally deviate from life’s rules,” said Wang.

Caring for others

An important factor of “emotional theft” is that lifestyle often includes significant consideration about what others think.

Xu, a 20-year-old Chinese girl who grew up in rural China, sees international travel as a symbol of luxury. So, when she visited South Korea she posted pictures on social media that were set to be visible only to herself.

She craved discovery and praise for her travel photos yet worried about feelings of jealousy or inferiority from friends.

So Xu decided to keep her travel memories a secret.

“I secretly keep these precious travel memories for my own viewing. I feel very happy every time I look at them,” she said.

While emotional thieves may not disrupt a company on a similar scale as those who “lie flat”, the trend is another example of young Chinese trying to find avenues to pursue their individual wants and desires amid a high-pressure work and social environment.