Letters | In confronting child abuse, Hong Kong must reckon with the problem’s origins

As a psychotherapist, and as someone who grew up in Hong Kong, I found the piece deeply resonant. It rightly highlights the intergenerational nature of childhood adversity. Early experiences shape the internal frameworks through which we later understand relationships, safety and emotional regulation. Over time, repeated childhood experiences become ingrained patterns of response. They operate largely outside conscious awareness, functioning as automatic reactions rather than deliberate choices. Under the stress of parenting, the capacity for reflection narrows further, increasing the likelihood that these ingrained responses are activated automatically – which may help explain the experience described in the report.

I found the framing of parents’ problematic behaviour as a survival response both valuable and consistent with what I see clinically, though it warrants further explanation. A child raised in an unpredictable or threatening environment may develop coping strategies that serve a genuine protective function – asserting control to create predictability, withdrawing emotionally to avoid further hurt, or maintaining heightened vigilance to stay safe. In that original context, these responses are adaptive.

The difficulty arises when the context changes, but the strategies do not. In adulthood – and particularly in parenting – those same behaviours can become disproportionate or misdirected. A heightened need for control may manifest as coercive behaviour, emotional withdrawal may present as neglect, and vigilance may be experienced by a child as volatility. Without reflection and proper support, these responses can cause harm in situations that no longer call for them.

In my experience, how parents are approached matters significantly. When met primarily with blame or shame, the more common response is defensiveness and withdrawal. A curiosity-led approach – one that asks not just what happened, but what function a behaviour is serving and what unmet need lies beneath it – opens the possibility of finding healthier ways to meet that need, and of working collaboratively with parents towards change. This does not diminish accountability; it creates the conditions under which accountability becomes possible.

Child abuse causes profound and lasting harm and must always be treated with the seriousness it warrants. However, understanding its origins and holding individuals accountable are not opposing aims. As Hong Kong continues to confront this issue, embedding this understanding into practice will be essential to achieving meaningful and lasting change.