Alyssa Brown: Hi guys! Thanks for tuning in to another episode of “Speed Tips”. Joining us this evening is popular dating expert Kang Cho-Hee. Welcome, Cho-Hee!
Kang Cho-Hee: Hi everyone! Thanks for having me, Alysaa.
Alyssa Brown: It’s our pleasure. As some of you might have guessed, today’s topic is on first dates. Cho-Hee, how important is it to nail that first date?
Kang Cho-Hee: That’s a great question. First dates are all about uncovering potential red flags, and figuring out if there’s any chemistry, through casual small talk. It’s really a mixed bag of anxiety, fun, and endless questions, even if it’s a Zoom date. But with some help, you’ll be on your way to getting that second date.
Alyssa Brown: Indeed! Do you have any tips for our listeners?
Kang Cho-Hee: Definitely. Here’s a must-do for the first date, in whatever form it takes. Confirm the date one day beforehand - it’s fine to do it via messaging. Use the confident “Looking forward to seeing you tomorrow” instead of “Are we still on?” If someone is going to cancel on you, it won’t matter how you ask, so you might as well show your self-confidence.
Alyssa Brown: That’s a good one. How about what to wear on a first date?
Kang Cho-Hee: This is the time to show your personality, so go with what makes you feel good. However, do wear clothes that are appropriate for the venue. And if it’s a Zoom date, make sure your background looks presentable too.
Alyssa Brown: It’s also important to keep the conversation flowing, too, isn’t it?
Kang Cho-Hee: Of course. There are no right or wrong questions to ask on a date, but the ones that do better require more than a simple one-word answer. For example, “Why did you decide to study literature?” is more interesting than the standard “What do you do?”. Other often overlooked but great conversation starters are “What do you like to do on weekends?”, “What made you decide to move to this area, and how do you like it?”
Alyssa Brown: All of these questions are things the other person already knows about themselves, so it doesn’t require too much thinking or silent awkward moments.
Kang Cho-Hee: That’s right!
Alyssa Brown: How about questions such as, “How is Covid-19 treating you?” or “How are you doing with the quarantine?”
Kang Cho-Hee: I wouldn’t do that. A first date should be a respite, not another depressing conversation about the sad state of the world.
Alyssa Brown: Right. And what can you do if the date turns out to be terrible within the first couple of minutes?
Kang Cho-Hee: Sometimes we walk into a date, or log into a video chat, and know immediately that there is no attraction whatsoever. But don’t just flip the “off” switch yet. Rather than deciding that the date is a failure from the get-go, ask yourself, “What can I learn from this interaction?” When you reframe your thoughts, it’s a more pleasant experience for the both of you.
Alyssa Brown: I couldn’t agree more! Alright, we’ve come to the end of today’s podcast. Remember there’s no perfect guide to dating, but these pointers will at least get you on the right track … and potentially a second date! Thanks so much for your time, Cho-Hee.
Kang Cho-Hee: You’re welcome!